Quantum Leap - Part Three Space Command Chronicles
by evalentine
Summary: Its four months since the Torchwood returned and much to Ianto's dismay the furore over the Torchwood incident has not died down. However as far as Ianto's family is concerned he along with the Torchwood are a promotional gold mine. If he doesn't want to be trapped he needs to find a solution fast.
1. Chapter 1

One

Ianto made his way past the kitchen garden, followed the white shell path through the arched tunnel festooned with sweet peas, then traversed the maze without any hesitation. Reaching the other side he came across a large black and imposing door. Turning the large round door knob he pushed it open.

The brightness of the sun momentarily washed out his sight but his other senses told him he had reached his most favourite place in the entire universe. Starting as he always did he made his way towards the perfect climbing tree to reach the top of the wide brick wall which surrounded the garden.

In complete contrast to his last attempt just seven months ago he reached the top with comfortable ease. He had not felt so fit for years. There was still an odd twinge and he knew if he overdid it his body would react. That said he regained much of his previous strength and he knew why, the perfect getaway: four months of just himself, his guide, and a mountain range.

As a child this wall had seemed as tall as a mountain. The trees against the wall were the perfect scale for a small boy to scramble up. How many happy hours and days had he spent here in this garden of delights and wonders? They were uncountable. Over the slight breeze and bird song he heard the trickle of water from the square pond. It was not a pond he reminded himself; it was vast sea full of mysterious sea monsters. The fountain was a thunderous waterfall set in the middle of that exotic ocean. In his imagination each arch that separated the different areas of the gardens were portals to other world. One section had borders bursting with thousands of flowers surrounding a lawn festooned with tiny 'Piccolo Daisies' their perfect violet crowns surrounded a circle of white in perfect contrast to the soft green of the grass. Those deep borders of flowers beds were forests where he had built fantastic cities on far off planets or hunted wild fantastical beasts.

In another nook was a hammock where he would pretend he was captain of a boat at sea, the waves rocking him violently as he sought out the dragon that was his quarry. Or he could lie with his face poking through the large weave as he imagined he was afloat on a giant hot air balloon and the shadows created were magical flying creatures only he could see.

He took a deep breath taking in the heady scents of the end of summer exuberance. There were few places he felt truly at peace and in the past entering through the door to clear his mind had grounded him until now.

Ianto felt a burn of resentment as his uncle's admonishments still rang in his ear. He had never experienced his Uncle as the' uncompromising no-nonsense business man' until now. That man had outlined to him it was to be a case of return or be returned. Ianto had family commitments he could not ignore. There were several issues of vital importance that needed his attention. It was about time that they all sat down and worked out the way forward beginning with some ideas he, Charles, and his father would like to discuss.

Besides he was the hero of the _Torchwood_. People and Ianto understood these people to be highly important, powerful and, influential ones wanted to see him, reward and thank him.

Much to his annoyance and consternation the furore caused by the entire saga had not died down. He and Jack were celebrities. And as far as his Uncle was concerned there was now another hero: the very ship itself. It now represented the very epitome of quality Space Industries had aspired to, enshrined it its construction.

Ianto didn't need it explained; he was a promotional gold mine.

As a consequence a tour was being arranged, which included several important governmental meetings where Space Industries could argue a case to build the entire fleet: commercial, military and exploration. And their number one spokesman was the one and only Ianto Jones, hero of the hour.

The vibration of his communicator caught his attention. Pulling out the small device he saw it was a message from Rhia. She was furious he had arrived back and not said hello. She demanded he stop mooching around the formal garden and return to the house forthwith. Ianto grimaced as he keyed in a response and pressed send.

She would just have to wait to give him the long overdue telling off he knew was coming and she felt he needed. Ianto huffed; the solitude of the moment was broken. He climbed down and the thoughts had been plaguing him for months about his future came to the fore. There was one thing he did know. As difficult as it was to find a future for himself, whatever his father and Charles had planned was not it.

It was a matter of elimination. The _Torchwood_ had allowed him to realise he was not a teacher. He had also discovered he had far more inner strength and courage than he thought possible. More importantly he had learnt the truth. No matter how uncomfortable some of the conclusions he had been forced to face, he was better off knowing. Strangely he knew he should feel better but the truth had left him with a Pandora's box full of feelings he didn't know how to address.

Following the border of the garden he came to a narrow grassy path that led to a small domed gazebo surrounded by lupines and foxgloves of ever colour. Stepping inside he stood next to a plaque. Gently using a finger he traced the letters that made up the name of his mother and felt the same sense of numbness he always did when he entered here. If he closed his eyes just for an instant he could catch a drift of her perfume as she wrapped her arms around him. He had felt so invincible, her arms protecting him from all the ills in the universe. What was the point of life when everyone you loved could be taken in an instant? Along with the numbness he felt the terrible emptiness caused by his loss of purpose.

One thing was for sure he was not going to be some bloody spokesperson and dragged pillar to post on show like some prize poodle, telling his story over and over to different groups of morally bankrupt individuals no matter how powerful. The communicator began to vibrate again. Ianto saw it was a message was from Charles reminding him of the meeting to be held in his father's study in one hour. Ianto touched the side of the communicator and it expanded to fill his hand and he scrolled down and opened a file along with a list of documents he had prepared a week ago but still hesitated to send.

Maybe this was the answer. It was not Deep Space Exploration but it was close. He felt the thrill of excitement. The archaeological expedition was heading for a whole world covered in ruins. Artefacts the _Solaris _had brought back had shown they were from a previously unknown civilisation that utilised organic technology. Others artefacts more fragile were profoundly beautiful objects. Clearly a race who was highly creative as well as technologically advanced

He and Craig had seriously debated a return to Zeta Sigma Three. At the time it had been nothing more than fantastic talk because both of them knew they were unlikely to leave the life of the Deep Exploration Service with too much to discover and map. A life with each other doing what they both loved had been the dream.

He read down the expedition programme again. It would be fascinating to return, and he would be on the forefront of uncovering a previously unknown civilisation far in advance of their own. So many puzzles to solve; who were the beings who had created those wonderful objects and left so many ruins? What had happened to them? Had their civilisation collapsed or had they just left, and if so where to and why? And just what had they left behind? There would also be planetary and geologic exploration. The place was hardly a hell hole from the short time he had spent on Zeta Sigma Three; it appeared to be a temperate pleasant planet with three small moons.

Then there was the other aspect to all this: Jack Harkness. The man had been much in his thoughts since he had left the _Torchwood_ so surreptitiously. Ianto found he kept returning to the point where own sense of fairness had vanished and he had found it impossible to grant Jack even an acknowledgement and give credit for the man he had become.

Even if a part of him still struggling with forgiveness, he did recognise the man on the _Torchwood _was not the same as the one on the _Diligence_. Jack had transformed himself and made himself anew. Five years of hard work on a par with Ianto's own physical and metal recovery. Yet in that final moment Ianto had become paralysed. The feelings of disgrace he felt on not being able to speak was something he still battled on a daily basis with So maybe this would be an opportunity to deal with the confusion opened during his encounters and interactions with Jack Harkness on the _Torchwood. _He didn't kid himself it would he easy but the invitation was there.

Ianto let out a long breath, all this anguish and he might not even be accepted. No matter how desperate they were to attract the lowest order sensor calibration engineer in any capacity they might see him as over-qualified. 'End of argument,' Ianto said out loud.

A large message invaded his screen reminding him of the family meeting. Every fragment of resentment of being hauled back here came to the fore. He used his thumb to open his application form and pressed send.

As the submission was acknowledged he smiled to himself as he imagined he was facing Charles. '_Sorry I've found a use for myself, I've joined an archaeological expedition.' _

Ianto moved to shrink the device when it chimed. 'I'm coming,' he growled and went to dismiss the message when he saw it was the leader of the expedition paging him, wanting a face-to-face communication.

Ianto turned the viewing function on.

'Commander Ianto Jones?' A long face that came into view asked in a tone that suggested he didn't trust this was who he was calling.

'Yes.'

'Commander Jones, I'm sorry to disturb you. My name is Doctor Smith and a few moments ago I received an application for our expedition that would appear to have been sent by you.'

'That is correct,' Ianto answered and the man looked confused.

'There appears to be some misunderstanding. The position you have applied for is a level entry position meant for someone with basic above and underground mapping skills. Due to this being an archaeological expedition some finesse will he required but this position is way below your level of expertise.'

'I'm aware of the requirements. My understanding is you've had difficulty attracting any sensor specialist to apply.'

'Considering the lack of sensor specialists in Space Command and generally in the commercial sector even the lowest grade graduate has their pick of any number of prestige postings. To receive an application of someone of your calibre, ability and qualifications I assumed it had to be an error or worse some kind of hoax.'

'No it's genuine,' Ianto assured him.

'In light of your current profile I have to ask what would make you apply for this role and how did you even get to hear of our venture?'

'I was one of the officers on the_ Solaris_ who did the initial survey of Zeta Sigma Three. I also did the planetary sensor sweep.'

Doctor Smith appeared to make a connection. 'This is beginning to make more sense. You would be the Jones on the report. So you are wanting to come back and make a more detailed examination?'

'Actually I was unaware of the expedition until it was brought to my attention by Captain Jack Harkness.'

Doctor Smiths face twisted in disgust. 'Yes we did receive his application for Super Cargo. Regardless of his current exploits he is not the sort of person I wish associated with this mission. Considering your history with the man you will be pleased to note he didn't even reach the short list.'

'I think you should seriously reconsider because my acceptance of the position is conditional on it including Jack Harkness,' Ianto suddenly found himself saying.

'Are you sure? 'We are considering several applicants who have had experience in the commercial sector.'

'My acceptance depends on Jack Harkness being part of this expedition, but I don't want him to know I said that,' Ianto added quickly.

Doctor Smith pulled on his lip as he thought and then looked towards Ianto. 'You will of course have to pass the medical requirements…'

'If you will check my application I included an up-to-date medical report. And you will also see I have included a substantial list of medical equipment I will donate not just for my use but would benefit everyone joining.'

Doctor Smith looked into the distance then looked directly at Ianto.

'Very well. You leave me little choice.' The screen went dead and Ianto feared for a moment that he had overplayed his hand. What on earth had made him insist Harkness be included? It was like another part of his mind had taken control of his actions.

A few seconds passed and he saw a huge file download, the covering message was a firm offer to join.

Ianto felt a moment of triumph as he flicked back his acceptance. Now all he had to do was walk over to the main house and explain he was going to disappear for two years and accompanying him was none other than Jack Harkness. His stomach turned, and he braced himself for the eruption to follow.

* * *

><p>'Please tell me; I have misunderstood?' Ianto's father thundered. 'After everything that has happened, and what that man put you and this family through, you are going off on some damn fool archaeological expedition with none other than the instigator of your abuse, Jack Harkness?'<p>

'I thought you of all people would understand,' Ianto interjected.

'What I understand is I was woken at 2am by my son screaming at me because I gave the man a chance to redeem himself and now…'

'Things have changed…happened on the _Torchwood_, we have unfinished business.'

'Any unfinished business does not require us missing your company for another two years Ianto. Why can't you deal with this here?'

'It not just that. I was part of the original expedition. Returning was a thought at the time. Now I have that opportunity.'

'And what about your recovery?' Charles demanded.

'I had a fitness check. This is not a high risk mission and I think I've proved that I am more than capable of handling myself,' Ianto said thinking of his adventures on the _Torchwood.'_

'I thought any long term expeditions were off the cards,' Charles fired back.

'This is a privately funded expedition,' Ianto replied. 'And I've offered to supply the expedition a more comprehensive medical bay.'

'You know we could make this difficult, make a few calls and suddenly the expedition funding is gone, the carrier to rescind their offer, those signed up suddenly find they are unable to honour their commitment.' Charles said.

'Then you are not the man I thought you were,' Ianto said his gaze locked with his Uncle.

Ianto's father turned to Charles. 'Would you please leave? I want to speak to Ianto on his own.' Charles put his hand on his brother's shoulder, glared at Ianto then left.

'Ianto, I'm asking you don't do this.'

'Dad, please don't ask me not to go. I have to find my own way.'

'Charles and I we have an idea, why not try it? We want to market a whole range of ships based on your experience, and your input would be invaluable and now we have the tender for designing the next wave of Deep Exploration Vessels. Hands' on helping your fellow officers.'

'I can't become a marketing tool,' Ianto pointed out.

'You wouldn't be. You would be an integral part of the entire proposal,' Arthur pointed out.

'Dad this is not me. It's never been me. I can't stay.'

'I'm asking you Ianto. Stay, and if this is not what you want let us find a new way together.'

'Dad you don't know what you're asking.'

'I'm asking you to stay….'

* * *

><p>Ianto closed the study door to find his sister waiting for him her arms crossed. 'Don't start.'<p>

'What were you expecting after running off again? Four bloody months and now I suppose you are just here for a pit stop before you disappear again.' She saw her brother blush. 'At least you have the decency to look ashamed.'

'I'm not completely disappearing. We can at least exchange messages.'

'Oh, we are supposed to remain grateful. You're leaving but don't worry you can send me a message that will be weeks out of date by the time we read it.'

''I need some time and space. I have to get away.'

'But that's you isn't time and space. Time and space away from us.'

'That's not it, Rhia.'

'Liar.'

'Listen, I know this is hard to understand…'

'Bloody right it's hard to understand, Ianto. Dad loves you; he would give you the earth if he could to make you happy.'

'I have to make my own way. Don't make this harder than it has to be.'

'What? Harder than having to watch your own brother fight for his life, and have to re-learn to walk, then see him put himself into danger again, then disappear for four months climbing some mountain rather than spend time with his family.'

'You've always been comfortable with how things are.'

'Don't give me that 'I can't handle I'm privileged' rubbish, Ianto. You are rich, your family is rich you need to get over it. The truth is Mum died and you've been running from us ever since.'

'You don't know the whole story,' Ianto snapped back.

'He was suffering he didn't mean for what to happen to happen.' Rhia pleaded.

Ianto glared at her. 'Am I supposed to take that as a comfort?'

'You should take it for what it is.'

'Should I?' Ianto retorted.

'He's sorry for what happened. He's tried to make it up. You know he has.'

'How come he has never said those words to me?' Ianto said

'What was the past five years? You are his life, Ianto. He grieves every time you leave. It's painful and I am sick of seeing him hurt.'

Ianto remained silent

'Why can't you find yourself here? Confront the past, find someone,' Rhia continued.

'I found a life for myself and someone who I wanted to share it with twice and twice everything I worked for and loved were gone in an instant. No-one on the ski circuit or Deep Space Command cared who I was other than the respect I earned through my own effort.' Ianto closed his eyes. 'I know this is hard and but I have to do this for my own sanity.'

'Ianto, running away never solved anything.'

'I am not running away,' Ianto growled

'You can say what you like, but I'm calling this how I see it. She wasn't just your mother she was mine too and I miss her every day. '

Ianto shook his head. 'This has nothing to do with her.'

'This has everything to do with her, Ianto. Every loss becomes harder because somewhere in that head of yours her dying was somehow your fault. It wasn't, Ianto; it was an accident no matter what the circumstances. I know Dad's forgiven you. Why can't you forgive yourself? Liselle wasn't your fault and neither was losing Craig. Punishing yourself by hiding yourself with endless work or some sporting obsession is not the answer. You need to forgive yourself and come home for good and be around those who love you.'

'You never understood Rhia…you had Uncle Charles, Auntie Vera and Dad.' Ianto shook his head.

'This is you punishing him. What more does he have to do to earn your forgiveness? He was lost in grief. None of us questioned why you didn't want to be with us so why are you so hard on him?'

Ianto lent forward his fists clenched went to speak then spun round and headed back into the garden and his sanctuary.

* * *

><p>Martha Jones banged on the door to Jack's quarters. She knew he was in there. The news she had received was absurd, unbelievable, she was reeling and she was not going to take no for an answer.<p>

'Jack Harkness, I know you are in there. I am not going until you and I talk.'

A few seconds passed and the door opened.

'Is it true?'

'Is what true?' Jack double-checked a list against the clothes and personal items on his bed.

'You know damned well what I'm talking about.' Martha crossed her arms.

'No I don't.' Jack moved across the room and picked up what looked like a personal library archive the size of a slim book.

'I've just heard you have resigned your commission and walked away from the Captaincy of the _Torchwood_?

'Yes and no,' Jack replied as he flicked the archive closed it and added it to the items of the bed.

'Don't play games with me, Jack.'

'I've asked to go on a sabbatical for two years and I can confirm I have declined captaincy of the _Torchwood'_

'Are you out of your mind? Five years, Jack! Five hard years of work. To throw it all away.'

'Something important has come up.'

'What could be more important than you achieving everything you worked so hard for? Against the odds, against all predictions, your hard work paid off and you were offered a Captaincy. Not just on some escort to a cargo convey but Captain of the _Torchwood_. One of the most sought after commands in Space Command. You had better start explaining yourself because I just don't understand.'

Jack stopped and looked at her. 'I know this will be hard to understand, hell it took me weeks to figure it out myself. The truth is reaching Captaincy was what I thought I wanted. Don't get me wrong when I heard the news I was blown away. I'd done it, proved to everyone and myself yet... 'Jack took a breath. 'But the truth is I should never be trusted with those under my command.'

'So your refusing is you punishing yourself.'

'An opportunity came up that I could not say no to.'

'That's the second time you've mentioned something, what could have come up that could be better than being Captain of the _Torchwood_?'

Jack glanced at the framed picture of Ianto Jones that had graced his cabin on the _Torchwood._

'This is about him isn't it?'

'I've taken a position of supercargo for an archaeological expedition to Zeta Sigma Three.'

'Never heard of it.'

'Well, that's not surprising. It's on the outer rim of the Yirada sector in the Zulu quadrant.'

'And how does Ianto fit into this?'

'He's accepted the position of mapping specialist.'

'Oh I see,' Martha said as everything came clear. 'You and him together somewhere isolated, working together and he falls in love with you. And then you can spend the rest of your life showing him your devotion.'

Jack looked into the distance and bit is bottom lip then returned to packing.

'You have to know he is never going to fall in love with you. You realise that don't you? There is too much pain and hurt.'

'You don't know that,' Jack said stubbornly. 'You could never know that.'

'This is crazy, chasing after him like this. It's not too late Jack, please don't throw away everything you've worked for.'

Jack stopped and placed his hands on her shoulders. 'I did that to myself five years ago. Five years and the damage I caused continues to ripple out. I apologised Martha and it meant nothing to him, nothing. The truth is my destiny was linked with his the moment he was sent orders to join the _Diligence_. I have to do this Martha, or I will never be able to move forward.'

'Don't you see the trap you've laid for yourself? You have given yourself no way out if what you plan doesn't work.'

Jack smiled. 'The trap I set for myself was done long before I suggested this to Ianto.'

'You are beginning to frighten me,' Martha said.

'Don't be. My destiny…my very life…lies with Ianto Jones. I made a promise to myself; a promise that may take my whole life to fulfil but fulfil it I will.'

'Jack this is crazy talk'

'So be it.' Jack turned his back and continued to pack.


	2. Chapter 2

Two

* * *

><p>Ianto placed the cold drink bottle in his hand against his forehead in an effort to ease the pounding.<p>

He wasn't sure if the pain was caused by self-inflicted martyrdom caused by eight weeks of disapproval, frustration, and disappointment from his family and his refusal to take any inducement to stay or the fact he hadn't eaten for two days in preparation for cold sleep.

Charles, true to form, had resorted to his normal passive aggressive behaviour. Wavering from total disapproval to downright back-handed comments about his failure as a son after Ianto had refused to back down.

His father on the other hand had become the peacemaker, trying to make the best of a terrible situation pretending to be in totally in favour of Ianto's decision. Ianto was convinced that his father now knew more about the Zulu quadrant, how they were getting there and what awaited them on arrival than the expedition leader.

Suddenly the underfunded expedition he was joining had found itself awash with funds to provide better accommodation pods, and medical equipment to cover all and any possibility. Also joining at the last moment was a very seasoned trauma surgeon, Doctor Ian Chesterton.

What did his father think was going to happen? The planet was harmless and as far as he could recall from the survey no large dangerous animals. This was an archaeological dig. Dig being the operative word. The worst that could happen was sunburn from the high ultraviolet sun and broken nails, along with any number of carbuncles, scraped knuckles, knees, and sore backs.

Rhia on the hand, like Charles, had made her disapproval long and loud. He was left in no doubt to his failing his family, her, his nieces and nephews, heritage and above all the pain he was causing all of them, especially their father. She had even refused to say good-bye and only his father had travelled with him to the gate. After a tense good-bye, Ianto had stepped through the preparation area with relief. Ianto felt a momentary wave of of regret but knew this would soon pass once he was busy.

Moving through corridors towards the reception area he felt odd not to have luggage other than the bottle in his right hand. It had not been difficult to decide what to take although he knew people would find the amount of underpants and socks he had packed would come across as a little strange. No matter how strange there was one thing he had leant no matter how good stores or replicators were they never seemed to get the fit or fabric right. Other than a book, vid archive and his photos the only other gear he had packed was his squash racket and running shoes. Following the signs he pushed open the large double doors to find around thirteen people sitting in groups. His stomach turned over as he looked at each of the group now turned towards him as he entered. Seeing an empty seat he tried to quell his nerves. He looked at the faces, mix of young very young some looked like they were in the teens. Students, Ianto recalled, and their supervisors, one to each team of three.

Ianto gulped a swallow from the bottle he was holding and shivered. Raw fear and he knew the cause. Cold sleep was a new frontier for him, developed over the past twenty years. He knew it was tested and safe. Thousands had used it without failure and was the only way for expeditions to reach planets like Zeta Sigma Three without having to waste months using precious resources. From the guidelines and people's reflections on their experience most complaints came from having to drink the vile liquid he held in his hand as preparation.

So far he had seemingly drank gallons of the overly sweet liquid. He had had a choice of bright orange, green, or violent pink. All three were equally vile. In the end he had chosen the green one; he decided it was supposed to resemble some sort of lime drink but ended up tasting nothing like. At least it had a sort of tang to it. Ianto swirled the liquid around the bottle hoping against hope it was almost all gone. He grimaced; a third to go and he took a swig. He shuddered slightly as he swallowed.

'Grape Soda my arse,' the body next to him spoke, holding up a half drunk bottle of pink liquid.

'Mine's supposed to be Lime Surprise,' Ianto said.

'I suppose the surprise is it tastes nothing like lime. Mickey Smith.' The man introduced himself holding out his hand.

'Ianto Jones.' Ianto took the hand and shook it.

'Ever had cold sleep before?' Micky asked a waver in his voice.

'Nope,' Ianto replied and felt a slight rise in his anxiety. Common sense told him that this was a practical solution. You could only take so much with you for such a long expedition as he well knew. Deep Space exploration made use of every possible resource but there was no actual destination. Each mission was of a 'there and back again' type of exercise. This situation could not be more different. This was a charter vessel carrying a specialised mission pay load. By necessity it had to have everything they would need to sustain themselves for two years, baring travel time. It was a massive waste of resources to feed and house twenty plus people for the entire trip there, crew members who would effectively be doing nothing except consuming precious resources. Maximising their supplies by expending them only after they had arrived made perfect sense but that didn't mean being in an induced coma for five months just below freezing was going to be fun or without risks.

'Is it really sleep?' A woman flicked a strand of long auburn hair from her face from just opposite him asked.

Ianto and Mickey looked at the three people opposite.

'Of course, Pond,' the man sitting to her right spoke up. 'It's suspended animation, but the process triggers the brain to produce delta waves so in a sense you are in the deepest possible sleep. Then the body gets placed into cold storage and in the blink of an eye we will be arriving.'

'And if the engines fail to brake we will keep on going and end up on the other side of the Galaxy,' a thin faced man on the left side of the woman who had been identified as Pond said

'Thank you for Rory for expressing everyone's fears here so succinctly,' the man said, annoyed.

'I much prefer to get there and get done. Can't wait to get there and begin working. ' An older handsome woman stood up, walked across the room and held out her hand. 'Doctor River Song.'

'Ianto Jones.'

'Oh our intrepid sensor specialist,' she added, shaking his hand. 'No doubt you are well-versed in setting out to distant shores. I hear it takes less than a minute for a Deep Exploration officer to pack and unpack,' she said repeating the commonly held myth.

'One minute! It took me weeks to decide what to take. I mean, how do you choose what you think you will need for two years? I had to pack and repack thirteen times before I got the weight right.' A cockney tome broke through.

'That's my Rose,' Mickey said under his breath.

'I'm not you Rose anymore and don't you forget it!' A pretty young woman snapped back and crossed her arms.

Before Mickey could respond the door opened and a man appeared. 'Doctor Smith, Amy Pond and Rory Williams. Who would like to go first?' he said smiling as all three of them stood.

All eyes followed the group out. Taking another sip from the drink in his hand Ianto found the woman who had introduced himself had now seated herself to his left.

'So you are Commander Ianto Jones.'

Ianto nodded. 'Just Ianto Jones'.

'Well, 'just Ianto Jones', I wanted to welcome you on board. You have no idea how relieved I was when I heard you had joined us. The possibility we would have to leave without a mapping specialist was our worst nightmare. And here you are. Now you must tell me just how you found out about our expedition?'

'It was suggested to me by an acquaintance.' Ianto hesitated not sure how to explain. 'We served together on the _Torchwood__._He came across an article and recalled I had been part of the original survey…'

'You've been there?' Micky interrupted. 'Really been there?' Ianto nodded

The door leading to the medical area opened and Ianto heard his name being called and he stood.

As he did he was struck with a most bizarre sensation. It felt like he was falling. He closed his eyes as the world seemed to spin. In an instant his father's words rang in his head from that fateful meeting. He was setting off to spend two years working beside a man who had caused himself and everyone who cared for him immeasurable pain. And all because somehow he felt beholden to the man because he couldn't admit he was wrong.

He was mad, madder than mad. What in all creation was he doing here? He was here' he heard himself reply, 'because Jack Harkness had given him the idea and he, Ianto Jones, had come running.

Then there was his Dad, he called their last moments together, his father has been shaking as he embraced him, trying to put a happy face on. Weeks and weeks of pretending he was being supportive when he alone had known any objection would just entrench his son's stubbornness. Grieving with the knowledge they might never see each other again.

His knees refused to move as the full impact his stubbornness had wrought. This was insane and he had to stop this right now. The faces around him looked at him in expectation, and he swallowed.

'It's okay. Everyone feels a little anxious,' the man holding out his hand in support.

Ianto tried to find the words but they wouldn't come. This whole expedition, everyone on it was relying on him. Jack was part of this because he Ianto had insisted he be included. He felt caged along with an overwhelming urge to bolt.

He could see the door leading back to the outer assembly and he flicked his eyes towards the exit leading back to the main port.

Mickey gave him the thumbs up. 'See you on the other side.'

'Can't wait to see the ruins exposed,' River said smiling.

Closing his eyes he heard a roaring in his ears. He had to go there; was no other choice. Part of him was screaming that everything about this was wrong, another more firmly in control was walking towards the medical bay.

* * *

><p>Every step felt leaden, his heart racing as he struggled to say the word stop. He swallowed and tried again as the technician reassured him about the process.<p>

Ianto felt like raging at the woman as they talked him through the process. A moment of calm and clarity returned as the woman touched his elbow. He had signed up for this. Everyone here was depending on his skills. It was a grin-and-bear-it moment if ever there was one. In fact the productivity of this entire venture was dependent on him. 'Two years he could do this,' he told himself.

In the small cubicle with mechanical movements Ianto stripped and slipped on the cold suit. It felt strange as the slick surface brushed against his skin. He paused a moment and pressed his head against the wall. Now it pounding in rhythm with his heart.

'All okay?' The tech knocked on the door.

Ianto picked up the green drink he was still trying to finish and opened the door.

'Your colour is looking a little better.'

'Not sure what came over me,' Ianto tried to explain.

'Everyone has a few fears especially the first time.' The tech checked over the suit ensuring it was fitted correctly.

'Bit loose,' Ianto pulled it away in a hand full.

'Better loose than too tight,' the tech assured him and indicated he follow her.

Ten steps and Ianto found himself in what looked like a high-tech dentist office including an upright chair unit.

'I'm Doctor Brightwell. All set to go?' Ianto found his power of speech had disappeared again so he nodded.

'If you could please finish your hydration fluid.' She indicated the bottle in Ianto's hand. 'I know it's disgusting stuff but it's designed to protect the digestive system during cold sleep.'

Grimacing Ianto gulped down the remaining third and handed the doctor the bottle.

'Please step into the pod.' She pointed to the padded chair unit.

Ianto stepped in and the chair began to move back until he was almost horizontal.

'I just need to check you haven't eaten anything solid.' Ianto saw a hand-held device wave over his abdomen. 'Digestive system clear,' Doctor Brightwell pronounced as she looked up from the readout

Ianto felt a sudden panic. He had to stop this right now.

Before he could draw breath Ianto felt a pinch on his arm and a face smiling down at him. 'All set to go. Your next memory will be you waking up.'

His vision seemed to blank out for a few seconds then replaced with an explosion of light. His hearing was affecting as well; it was like he was listening under water.

A few more seconds and he felt a liquid in his mouth which it tasted of nothing. It was most welcome and released his tongue which appeared to he stuck against the roof of his mouth.

'Welcome back.' Ianto heard a voice coming from in front of him.

'You have to stop this. I can't go,' Ianto said, desperate to make himself understood.

'You sound a bit disorientated. Not surprising. You are in wake-up procedure. You will feel light-headed and in about half an hour hungry.' Ianto felt hands helping him sit up and the world around him seemed spin wildly around him.

'Water,' Ianto croaked. He found a drink in his hand; not looking at the contents he opened it and drained the lot.

'When you're ready, make your way to the shower, clothes have been laid out. Water provisions have been put aside for the wake-up procedure but be aware that water is not unlimited. We have twelve others who need to follow. In light of this shower will switch off after ten minutes. Once you've dressed follow the signs to the recreation area.'

The room stopped swirling around and Ianto's eyes rested on a viewing window. Hanging almost dead centre was a blue green planet. For a second he thought it was a projection. Then as his eyes came more into focus he recognised the dagger-shaped continent and his eyes flew open. This was not a dream, there was no going back, they had arrived.

* * *

><p>Ianto felt like he was sleepwalking as he made his way to the recreation area, the dread he felt on waking up had now settled in the pit of his stomach.<p>

He felt someone touch his elbow. 'All right love? I'm Jackie Tyler. I'm here to help. Anything you need you just ask me.' She found him a space next to the man he had met on embarkation.

'This is worse than that horrible drink,' Mickey moaned as he opened a carton filled with what looked like dark green pond scum.

'It's designed to help your digestive system kick back into gear.' Ianto found one in his hand. Peeling off the covering he saw the same revolting mixture.

Ianto watched as the woman gave Micky a light swipe across the back of his head. 'And less moaning. Get that down and you can have some real food.'

'Don't give me a hard time,' Mickey grumbled.

'Well, what do you expect? Five months and all you can do when you wake up is complain about the food.'

Ianto took a spoon full of the mush and found it was not as bad as it looked. As he scraped up the last few remnants his stomach now felt very empty. He was licking his spoon as he looked around for seconds.

'See some people have some manners,' the woman pointed out as another bewildered crew member appeared.

'All right love? I'm Jackie Tyler. I'm here to help.' Another body was guided next to Ianto. He took a moment to recognise them and realised it was the Tech Specialist Barbara Wright.

'Real food. That is all I'm asking for,' Micky moaned.

'Mickey Smith…stop your moaning.'

* * *

><p>One hour, two full bowls of hot cereal, as much toast as he could manage, followed by several cupcakes and half a gallon of coffee and Ianto still felt hungry.<p>

Bemoaning the empty bowl before him he took a quick look around.

'Is this everyone?' Ianto asked as he counted. 'Several people seem to be missing.'

'You were first on last off. Doctor Smith the elder no relation to Doctor Smith the younger you can see him over there' She pointed to the group three benches away. Ianto saw the group he had met at embarkation 'As I was saying Doctor Smith the elder, the engineers along with the Super Cargo were woken days ago as the ship approached to prepare for unloading.'

'That's the next step my lovelies so if you're finished…' Mickey and Ianto nodded. She handed both a list of instructions. 'What are you waiting for?' she asked.

'I think Cupcakes here would like another serving,' Mickey quipped.

'You are your nicknames. Now get moving,' she told them and they both headed off.

* * *

><p>Standing on the surface of the planet Mickey and Ianto watched via their hand held monitoring vid as the cargo section separated from the ship. In a wonderful ballet of co-ordinated movements twenty-six sections were revealed.<p>

In each section were the living pods, accommodation, medical and engineering bays and hydroponics. Another twenty pods had already landed, filled with every piece of equipment from the last screw to transport donks they would need to survive.

Ianto marked pod number 612, tried to watch its progress through the atmosphere with a bland expression. Knowing its use in a prosaic sense was one thing; having the pod containing your living quarters scream into the atmosphere shedding its outer layer by explosive bolts and then maneuvered into place without crashing and scattering across miles of the landscape was another.

His heart stopped a beat, as the glow seemed to grow above them. He could swear this was far brighter than any of the others suggesting imminent disaster. He jumped as a loud sharp shattering rang out. Much to his relief he saw the outer egg protective casing jettison and the first of three parachutes deploy. He took a breath as he realised he was holding it in as the final boosters came into play and gently lowered the pod into its pre-programmed location.

An age seemed to pass as the section legs found stability. Once satisfied it began its final sequence then Ianto flinched as the settling blots fired into the ground.

Now his pod was safely down Ianto took a moment to watch how the base self-assembled by expanding. Each section snapped sealing itself in the process. It was a complex modular system with all the wiring, plumping and internal infrastructure which just needed hands on completion. A chorus of bolts fired filled the air and the air went silent heralding they could now move to stage two.

Ianto heard a cheer and saw River Song and her two assistants, Nyissa Tremas and Adric Dirac, do a group high five as the last bolt was fired.

'Come on Cupcakes. If I read this correctly the one before us is your living quarters,' Mickey said handing Ianto a set of tools

'Don't call me Cupcakes,' Ianto said.

'Well Captain Cheescake has been used and that was my best one yet.'

'Captain Cheesecake?' Ianto rolled his eyes at Mickey's desire to nickname everyone.

'Space Command's finest with the million dollar smile.' Ianto looked confused. 'You know…the one who should be on promotional posters saying; 'Join now for a life of fun and adventure'.' Mickey nudged Ianto. 'Captain Harkness! He has cheesecake written all over him.'

A stiff breeze swirled up some dust and they heard a communicator beep. 'That's the all clear, Commander Sweet Cheeks.'

'My name is Ianto Jones, not Sweet Cheeks, nor Cupcakes.'

Mickey turned around and looked at him, walking backwards. 'I could always call you what they said on the vids.'

Ianto stopped dead in his tracks and his faced dropped.

'All them heroic titles they gave you. I remember the special '_Torchwood_ Touch and Go, with you the hero of the hour. You and the Captain taking on slavers and taking them down. A man alone on a ship against thirty others. The entire crew saved. I'm surprised you can walk with all them medals they gave you.'

Ianto lifted a finger in warning. 'Firstly, one of the crew couldn't be saved. Secondly, don't you dare and I have no difficulty walking because I didn't accept any medals.'

'I would have accepted the medals; that is, all that hero worship. Would put me right in with the ladies.' Mickey winked at him. 'Anyway, Cupcakes is accurate. I have never seen a human food vacuum cleaner before.'

'I don't recall you holding back,' Ianto pointed out as they approached a sealed entrance which awaited the access code.

'I'm amazed you didn't keel over from cream cheese frosting poisoning,' Mickey said as he pulled himself up the small set of steps that unfolded.

'In my defence they were carrot cake ones with lemon frosting.' Ianto approached.

''Do you think you can manage getting up here without help? With them medals weighing you down and all,' Micky teased.

'I've been thinking.'

'Oh no please not that,' Mickey snarked.

'I'm thinking about a nickname for you. How about spanners?' Ianto thought for a moment. 'Or nuts?'

'I'll nut you,' Mickey responded and disappeared in the darkened pod.

'Sparky…or what about Metal Head? Ginger Beer?'

'I'm warning you…' Ianto heard a grumble from inside, smiled and climbed up after him.

* * *

><p>Opening the door to his quarters Ianto began working down the list on his work pad. It was not difficult even if his hands were sore; it was just a case of matching modules interconnecting to their mate. Working down the list he connected the last pair and the lights came on.<p>

On first inspection it would seem to be just an empty long room. He opened a side door revealing a very compact side room. He checked and pressed the function button for the toilet and one unfolded from the wall. He marked it as functional after its first flush. The toilet folded back on itself and he heard it cycling. He pressed the function button again; this time for the wash room. No water here for showering; it was all strictly rationed so only a sonic shower but it was his own. It was operating so he marked it off his list. The rack was in place so if he wanted to wash or freshen his clothes he could. Any heavy cleaning would have to go to maintenance and operations under the watchful eye of Jackie Taylor. It meant real laundering as required. The others might not realise the luxury of freshly laundered clothes but he did.

Now he stepped back into the long room. In seconds he requested the bed. He lay down; reasonably comfortable he decided. Standing, the bed re-hid itself and as it did a desk, very practical with drawers and computer screen folded out.

'But what if I want to watch vids in bed?' he asked himself out loud. Looking through the instructions saw he had missed something. He requested the bed again and this time lay down and pressed the function on the wall side. First a light folded out then a section of the wall about a foot above his feet drew back and revealed a screen. Another panel by his right hand slid back and he found a small remote. He played with it for several seconds and found he could operate any function within the space.

Standing he saw the computer was now on and asking him to calibrate his room.

Touching the first panel the back section of the wall brightened and he found a window function. He scrolled through the settings and found one of a beach scene. The soft gentle hush of waves filled the cabin.

'Very nice.' Ianto heard a knock on the door and turned it off.

Opening it he saw Jack Harkness standing behind a trolley with the four boxes of Ianto's personal possessions.

'How's that for service? Delivery right to your door,' Jack said with a wide grin.

'Thank you,' Ianto stammered as he felt his face heat up and his heart thump in his chest.

'Let me help?' Ianto offered and tried to move forward but the door was too narrow

'Let me,' Jack suggested. Moving back Jack tried again. There was still not much room so Ianto flicked the bed back.

Now the way was clear Jack entered the room fully and began to unstack the boxes.

Ianto felt he had to say something. 'How are you Jack?' he said as he took the last box.

'It's been hectic. Another week and we will be all set.'

'Of course,' Ianto replied.

'Everyone's meeting in the rec room later. I was wondering…' Jack stated.

'Sure. I was planning on coming,' Ianto said.

'I'll see you then, then,' Jack smiled hesitantly turned and left.

Ianto felt the room swirl as the door closed. A familiar feeling of dread that had invaded his stomach when he saw the planet in the recovery room window now became even stronger.

This was all his fault. His own stubbornness had brought him to this point. Before he could open his possessions the computer blinked on.

'Messages received,' the computer intoned. Reading down the list he saw one for every week since they had left.

Opening the first he was shocked to see his father appeared to have gone grey and aged fifty years.

What had he done…what had he done?


	3. Chapter 3

Three

* * *

><p>Jack concentrated on the flyer he was working on. They had only been here eight weeks and this was the second sled in need of some serious repair. On first seeing the sleds and donks before they were loaded he and Mickey had overhauled the lot to make them far stronger and included as many parts as they were able. However even with all the strengthening the equipment would not survive being driven fully loaded into the side of hillock at high speed.<p>

In truth the sled was a wreck and if they had been home-side it would have been scrapped. Curses to overconfidence and not listening to the weight limits laid out for sled use.

The consequences were a few bruises and a hard lesson learnt by young Adric. As supercargo Jack knew how much they had in store right down the last nut and bolt. The dressing down he had given the young man meant he now fully understood that broken bones could heal but a sled could not be replaced. The sled and cargo lifters called donks had to last the entire mission.

So far he and Mickey had managed to straighten the frame and were now in the process of manoeuvring the engine back onto its brackets. Even once reassembled the sled would never be able to function as before. Its use would be reduced to a slow ground hugger but it would be able go from A to B.

'Not that Mickey is ungrateful but why don't you join one of the digs. I know there's a lovely lady whose been given you the eye,' Jackie Tyler said as she approached them with a tray holding three mugs of coffee.

'Never mind stitching up Captain Cheesecake. What about me?' Mickey called out from under the engine.

Jack wiped down his hands and took a coffee and smiled at Mickey's outburst.

'Stop your moaning,' Jackie said as Mickey pulled himself out from under the frame.

'She can't take her eyes off you and every time you walk in a room she makes a bee line straight for you,' Jackie added.

Mickey wiped his hands on a rag and then took his own coffee. 'She's right; you could have your leg well over.'

'Excuse Mickey; any talk of romance and all he can think about is sex.'

'I can do romance,' Mickey said in his defence. 'Ask Rose.'

'I thought she was with Doctor Smith?' Jack looked confused.

'Oh I see you think because she was poached it was because I can't do romance,' Mickey grumbled.

'And It's all my fault,' Jackie said nursing her own mug. 'I took her along to the interview for moral support, next thing Doctor Smith's ignoring me and talking to her. Didn't think nothing of it at the time. Then he's turning up asking for her help; whisking her off. Poor Mickey was left wondering what's going on. Next thing it's all over…'

'That's right it is all your fault,' Mickey agreed.

'That's right, Mickey. That is what every mother wants…to see her daughter run off with some man who is the same age as her mother.'

'I'm confused. If you broke up how come you ended up here then?' Jack asked Mickey his curiosity piqued.

'When we were together Rose kept telling me all about it. They needed a mechanic, and well, another world, unexplored ruins…she kept talking about how romantic it would all be. So mug that I was I signed up. Next thing she gives me the talk. You know the one; it's not me it's her and could we remain friends. At first I was going to give this the finger but then I thought why not, someone like me might never get another chance to go somewhere this amazing. What about you?' Mickey asked Jack. 'Not that any of us ungrateful but if any of your exploits are true, you could have had your pick of any number of high profile missions of daring do.'

'He has his reasons. Don't you Captain? ' Jackie nodded towards Jack.

'What sort of reasons?' Mickey looked confused

'You know, I think you are blind and deaf,' Jackie told him.

'Sorry you've lost me,' Mickey said

'Certain people's feelings for another. And why someone might follow someone else even if there's nothing to gain but might work out.'

Mickey screwed up his forehead as the thought. 'Still lost.'

'Do I have to spell it out for you?'

'Yes you will,' Mickey said.

'The captain and our lovely but overly polite workaholic sensor specialist,' Jackie said quietly as it if was a secret.

'Ohhh. Captain Cheesecake here and Cupcakes.' Mickey made the connection.

'You two have a history.' Jackie looked at Jack. 'Don't look at me like that, I did some reading up on all of you before the mission.'

Jack remained silent not sure to confirm or deny.

'I heard of wanting to do a good job but working every possible hour for eight weeks is telling us all something. You don't have to be genius to figure our lovely super polite sensor specialist is trying to keep himself busy as far as you are concerned and everyone else for that matter. Any agreement you had that brought you both here has gone by the wayside.' She looked at Jack who was looking a little startled at the accuracy of her insights.

'Well, what's stopping you doing something about it?'

'Don't you think I've tried?' Jack threw her a look. 'But he's turned avoidance and refusal into an art form.'

'What about today?'

'He's apparently made himself indispensable to team two who currently need a high-level scan of the structure of the mound they are working on. He left hours ago.'

Jackie smiled. 'Well. I know something you don't. Doctor Smith the elder put his foot down and ordered him to take the day off. The last time I saw him he was heading to his cabin.' Jack looked at her, not sure how to react.

'What are you still doing here?' She held out her hand for his mug.

Handing over the mug Jack headed for the accommodation pod.

'What that hell was that about?' Mickey said as the man's back disappeared.

'Sometimes love is blind, stupid and stubborn and one or both needs a push in the right direction'

'Sounds more like a push off a cliff.'

'That's the trouble Mickey; sometimes all people see is a cliff face and then when they step off the cliff was only in their imagination.

* * *

><p>Ianto placed the frustration he felt into forward movement. It was not that he enjoyed running but right now it was the only thing he could think of that might calm his thoughts. <em>'Keep moving, one foot in front of the other fill up every second of every day with something, anything and never stop<em>_,__'_ was his mantra.

Keep busy or face the worst series of decisions in his adult life. He felt sick because he had dragged someone else along with this folly. Someone who was expecting something, anything. He knew trying to avoid Jack was the cowards' way out but how was he supposed to face him? What could he say?

There were only so many ways he could brush off being polite. If he was in Jack's position he would be feeling bewildered to why Ianto was being so distant. He had accepted Jack's invitation, when he could have easily have said no. They would have parted going their different ways possibly never meeting again. Ianto went back to his thoughts at the time, it had felt so right, perfect in fact. It had solved so many problems between the demands of his family, the unresolved issue of not being able to speak on the bridge and the growing realisation the unresolved feelings he was so desperate to admit did not exist. What better way to resolve them than time away to some distant planet? It had worked in the past, when he had accepted a place in the Deep Space Exploration service. The years there were the happiest of his life.

Now he was here, and the wrongness of all this was only made worse by each preceding vid from home. His dad looked like he was aging before his eyes. What had they not told him? It would be just like his family to keep him in the dark and expect him to work it all out for himself. If he hadn't been caught up in his own sense of self-righteousness he should have stood up to Charles.

A surge of resentment gave him speed. To Charles he was still ungrateful, the wayward son who had to be led to do the right thing. He had learnt a very hard lesson, on his own two feet or not at all.

He loved his father, he wanted to make him proud; prove he could put the past behind him. Their relationship had reached a nice place where they were comfortable with each other. The problem was that he had the horrible feeling that the rug was going to be pulled from under him. The feeling haunted him that he would do or say the wrong thing and ruin it all and end back on the outside.

He came to a path, one leading up towards a climb, the other leading around back to the base. He let out a breath, angry he had fallen into such old thinking. The past was the past. His father loved him and his actions said volumes, he had been his voice and demanded justice. In fact the whole family had shown he was welcome and how proud they were of him. Charles had given him the brooch which had saved his life twice. A niggle of doubt rose that maybe he was only acceptable since he had become a success. No, his father loved him; full stop, no argument.

Ianto saw the end of trail marker and hesitated wondering if he should take the longer route. Turning he looked back to see someone else pounding around the lake. He squinted to see who it was. His eyes widening he took off up the longer trial.

* * *

><p>As soon as Jack hit the trail around the lake he could see the figure was too far ahead to catch up and stopped.<p>

Every hope Jack had held up to until that moment left him. He could swear that Ianto had sped up when he had seen him. Why? Why when the man had given him every signal he wanted to Jack to join the expedition? It had given him some hope that he could fulfil the vow he had made when he knew forgiveness would be impossible.

He kicked a stone into the lake. But he wanted to prove that he could be so much more. Fantasy; all that was, an absurd fantasy. Ianto Jones would never love him, in fact his actions showed he couldn't bear being in the same room with him.

_So what the hell was he doing here?_ Jack asked himself. He went over his decision to why he had suggested this to Ianto. There were signs…so many signs. Something was not right and he began to make his walk around the lake.

Jack had two choices. He could just back off, and he felt surge of desperation. If he did then two years might pass and the opportunity would end. Or he could try another track. But what? There had to be something he could offer, that would break the ice so to speak.

* * *

><p>Racing to the top of the rise Ianto stopped to catch his breath. He took a moment to take a look around. He saw the figure he had seen was now walking. For a moment the figure looked his way and Ianto moved till he was out of sight.<p>

Ianto felt a terrible wave of guilt. This couldn't go on. He had to do something. Jack was here because of him He didn't have to become the man's best friend; all he had to do was go through the motions. Could he be that dishonest with himself? 'Yes,' he heard himself reply and he recalled he had years of practice, honed to perfection at every awkward family gathering since he had turned twenty. Smile, be polite, and pretend play along. That was all that was required here. Once they returned then they need never see each other again.

Ianto nodded to himself. It would difficult. 'Yes, yes I can do it,' he said to himself and headed back towards the base.

* * *

><p>Over the next few days Jack observed Ianto. He was polite to the point of courteous absurdity. Ianto made all the right obligatory noises; helpful, friendly but ignored any attempts beyond the basics. Yes he would join the others for an end of day's drink but never spoke about himself or when he was asked to offer an opinion did so in a way to suggest he didn't feel strongly one way or another.<p>

Jack also discovered there of two of their company trying to get his attention and also having zero luck. His observations confirmed what he already knew; the man here was not the real Ianto Jones. The man he knew was passionate, moody, kind, generous, and could give eye rolling whole new levels of meaning.

The Ianto he knew could turn on a hair, grab you by the shirt collar then wide eyed with fury slam you up against the wall and look like he was going to throttle you but then kiss the life out of you. A man who could slay another being at twenty paces with his cutting remarks and leave lash marks. A man who would stand his ground and argue to the end of existence if he thought he was right. Jack made the sad realisation he had seen this before; Ianto was doing what he did when he was cornered: pretend and don't rock the boat.

It saddened Jack Ianto had fallen back into his weather-the-storm personality. He hated this aspect of Ianto, he would rather have the man spit angry because it was honest. What he couldn't figure out was what had caused Ianto to do this. This was not the '_Diligence__;_' the personalities were varied but except for the ongoing academic arguments there was a real camaraderie building, friendships and even couplings forming.

Jack had come up with several theories. One was that for the first time Ianto was here without support. On the _Torchwood_ he had Owen and Tosh, and even Martha had managed to keep him grounded. Or it could be far more simple; maybe Ianto felt he had made a mistake in coming, and family issues combined with no escape was doing everything he could just to keep himself busy so time passed more quickly.

The last one Jack had come up with he dismissed immediately as simply absurd: Ianto had realised he had feelings for him and was conflicted about them. He knew this couldn't be right even if part of him was desperate for it to be true. He was here for one thing: accomplish his vow. If he couldn't follow it through in the next two years then he would come up with another plan to get close to the man. One way or another it was going to happen and he would feel peace at last.

So what now? Jack did have an idea, an offer that would allow him to interact in a way that allowed Ianto to drop his guard and open up. Something that would appeal to his desire to be on his own but in truth lead to more connectedness between them. His mind told him off. 'Alright then keep close so when the time came he could act,' Jack growled under his breath.

'No time like the present,' Jack said himself and headed towards the small office where he knew Ianto was working on some pointless task he had found for himself.

'Hiya,' Jack said smiling as he put his head around the open door.

'Hi,' Ianto mumbled under his breath, keeping his attention focussed on the artefact he was cleaning up.

'I've got an idea.'

'Not today, Jack, I'm busy,' Ianto said not looking up and used a toothbrush to remove a fragment of dirt, trying to hide the relief that Jack had finally approached him.

'Hear me out. I've been thinking I've come with a sort an exchange. I'm offering a straight swap. You do something for me and I do something for you.'

Ianto looked up, his brow creased. 'Okay.'

'I figure you're stuck here. Stuck here around the base I mean. If you want to leave and go exploring you have to depend on someone else, correct?' Jack hedged.

'That's pretty much it.' Ianto slowly nodded in agreement.

'I'm offering a swap. I hate running but it's really the only form of exercise there is so I was thinking I help you learn to handle one of the sleds and you teach me the basics of squash.'

'You know I'm not safe. It's a horizon thing. The last thing this mission needs is another crashed sled,' Ianto pointed out.

'True. This is not so much a flying lesson as driving lesson, on a what is now basically a ground hugger going less than twenty miles an hour if we're lucky.'

Ianto put down the artefact and crossed his arms. 'Have you any idea how many times I've heard that? Professional tutors have walked out after the first lesson rather than take another flight with me.'

'As I recall last time you didn't do so bad,' Jack said seriously.

Thinking, Ianto tapped the table. 'On one condition.' Jack raised his eyebrows. 'There is to be no physical contact between us other than the obvious.'

'Other than the obvious…I'm not sure what you mean?' Jack asked confused.

'No repeat of what happened on the cargo deck?' Ianto spelt it out for him.

'You know I only kissed you once. You kissed me back…twice,' Jack told him, surprised Ianto had even brought this up.

'Jack, for me to agree you are to never mention what happened again. Promise me there will be no repeat.'

'Okay no kissing.'

'It wasn't that good a kiss anyway,' Ianto muttered under his breath.

"Which one?' Jack grinned.

'You agreed we would not discuss what happened,' Ianto told him, blushing that Jack had heard his throwaway comment.

'Okay, no discussing what happened on the cargo bay,' Jack agreed. 'So, squash or flying lesson first?' Jack asked after a long silence.

'Do you have a racket?' Ianto asked.

'I think I can find one,' Jack told him.

'I'll check and see if the court is free,' Ianto offered and saw there was a free space in about an hour and booked it.

'Okay, I'll see you in an hour.' Ianto turned his back and went back to work.

As the door closed he placed his head on his desk. 'What in all the heavens had made him mention the kiss?' he asked himself. It was perplexing because whenever he and Jack were alone a part of his mind seemed to disconnect and another part took over.

The only good thing about this was an opening had been made. Now all he had to do was to keep calm and carry on.

* * *

><p>His back against the court wall, Jack sat wondering if Ianto was going to turn up. He looked around; it was not much of a court, just one of the original containers several of the crew had marked out with lines to serve for various games.<p>

Jack looked at his watch. The man was late and he hoped he hadn't spooked him He went over their conversation in his mind. Considering how closed off Ianto had been mentioning the most surprising unexpected events on the _Torchwood_ was the last thing he thought Ianto would ever speak about. In truth Ianto's words had just added to Jack's confusion.

Standing Jack began to pace as the door opened. 'Okay you're here,' Ianto said as a greeting and threw a towel and drink bottle into the back of the left hand corner of the box. 'Have you played squash before?'

'No, it's a complete mystery except I know it gives a great work-out.'

Ianto pointed to several lines 'For this you are to only take notice of the blue lines. Jack looked about and saw there were three lines are on the wall and others made out a series of boxes on the floor.

Ianto walked over to the front wall and indicated the three blue lines at various heights. 'The object of the game is to hit the ball above this line.' He pointed to the blue line on the bottom. 'Above this is the service line. And above at the top is called the outline.'

'So aim the ball anywhere between the bottom line and the outline,' Jack checked.

'The ball can also hit the side walls but for now let's just concentrate on the front wall,' Ianto suggested. 'There are two basic swings: forehand, aim to make contact with the ball between your hip and knee. 'Ianto swung his racket. 'It's a good idea to aim the butt end of the racket towards the ball then swing through.'

Ianto hit the ball towards the front wall and Jack hit the returning ball.

'Excellent. Let's give that a couple more goes.' Ianto served and the ball flew forward.

After four hits Ianto stopped. 'Now the second basic swing is the backhand.' Ianto served the ball, demonstrating, and the ball hit the wall with a resounding thud. 'As you can see that has far more power.'

Jack looked at the racket with more respect.

Ianto went and stood in the left hand box. 'Now, to serve you have to have at least one foot in the serve box and hit the ball above the serve line. For now the object of the game is to keep the ball in play.'

'Can I move around the box?' Jack asked.

'You can move anywhere to keep the ball in play, you can reach or lunge, the faster you develop and react the better your play…Ready?' Ianto put the ball in play.

Twenty minutes later Jack found himself bent over struggling to catch his breath.

He opened his eyes to see Ianto holding out a bottle of water, trying not to smile.

Jack gulped down the liquid. 'You are not even out of breath.' Jack wiped his hand across his mouth and handed back the bottle.

'You didn't do too badly for a beginner,' Ianto said honestly.

'Another round?' Jack stretched his muscles and saw the look of challenge on Ianto's face.

'You will be sore enough after this work out,' Ianto pointed out as if he was reluctant to say no.

'I can see myself really enjoying this.' Jack tried to keep the strain out of his voice. 'And next time I'm going to give you a challenge.'

Ianto gave him a twisted smile and bit his lip as if he was struggling not to speak. Jack felt his heart wrench, as for the first time the real Ianto Jones presented himself.

Ianto picked up his towel. 'So when's my flying lesson?'

* * *

><p>'Now this flyer has been reduced to the same capabilities of a sled,' Jack explained. 'On a good run it might reach twenty-five kilometres an hour. It can only ground hug so it will skim the surface no higher than two meters.'<p>

Ianto stood beside him arguing with himself about the absurdity of trying to control involuntary trembling. To distract himself he forced his concentration on what Jack was telling him.

'There are only two switches: on and off. The main control is the steering handle. Push towards you to move forward. If you move the control towards the screen the flyer will move into reverse. Left and right are self-evident. Now, very important…if you let go the handle it will snap back into the neutral position and the sled will come to a slow stop.'

'I don't think I can do this,' Ianto said honestly.

'I trust you.' Jack noted Ianto complexion had turned pale.

'Yes, based on one shuttle trip you set up on auto and all I had to do was just follow instructions.'

'And that is all you have to do now.'

Ianto said, looking into the distance then gulping and placing his forehead on the hand control, 'I can't do this I'm already dizzy.'

'To help I have added a dot, a red dot in the centre of the screen.' Ianto looked up. 'For now when you look forward just concentrate on the dot,' Jack added. 'All we are going to today is turn the sled on, wait till it levitates then move the handle very slowly forward.'

'Turn it on and move handle forwards slowly,' Ianto repeated to himself.

He pressed the green button. The sled began to vibrate and then it rose about a meter off the ground.

Suddenly the sled lurched and Jack felt his head snap forwards. 'Hands off the steering control,' Jack instructed loudly and his head snapped back.

'Sorry, my hands just reached out,' Ianto admitted.

Jack rolled his neck around and thanked whoever had invented body restraints.

'It's okay,' Jack assured him. 'Let's call that your first successful flight. Now relax your hands.' Jack noted Ianto was holding on so tightly his knuckles had gone white.

Ianto flexed his hands and placed them back on more lightly.

'Gently nudge the control towards you until till you feel a click. That's the lowest setting for speed.'

Ianto pushed the control forward and the sled began to move very slowly forward. The landscape seemed to swirl but he concentrated on the dot in the centre of the screen.

They covered about a hundred meters when he heard Jack speak, 'Excellent. Now let go of the control and see what happens.' The control snapped back and the sled came to a slow halt.

'Okay let's try this again,' Jack said letting out the breath he hadn't realised he was holding on to.

* * *

><p>'Feeling more confident?' Jack asked as he offered Ianto a sandwich from a lunch box.<p>

'A little.' Ianto checked the contents of the sandwich then took a bite.

Ianto looked around. They had stopped in a valley by a small stream which they had been following.

'Just a little?"

'I haven't crashed the thing and the red dot helped, 'Ianto admitted.

'I have to say it's nice to get away from the main base,' Jack said as he chose a sandwich for himself. 'Don't get me wrong. I've been really enjoying myself but sometimes the conversation gets a bit heated. Everyone has got an opinion, and most are not shy about making sure everyone knows.'

Ianto smiled as he opened a carton of drink. 'There are many strongly held theories about what happened here.'

'Which do you agree with?'

'I really don't have an opinion…not at this point. I don't see the point of arguing the ifs and buts until there is more evidence either way.'

'You must have an opinion?' Jack hoping to draw Ianto into a conversation

'The whole planet was abandoned that is clear, but they left everything behind or did they? I'm not part of the experts here in terms of ancient history. What I do know is that I don't know enough to put forward a theory. What about you?' Ianto asked.

'I've listened to some of the arguments but I've been too busy keeping the base running to take a lot of notice.'

Ianto made himself more comfortable. He chuckled to himself and shook his head as if sharing a private joke.

'Sounds good,' Jack interrupted.

'I was thinking about John Hart and what nickname our esteemed engineer would come up with when he admits 'Captain Cheesecake' was his best one.'

Jack laughed. 'Who do you think John would have done first?'

'River Song followed by the younger Doctor Smith with the strange bow tie and fez collection.'

'Sara Jane would most likely slap his face. He might be able to charm Jackie Tyler. Doctor Chesterton and Barbara Wright would be off the menu,' Jack added.

'Noticed that,' Ianto said. A few moments passed as they ate.

'I wonder how Mickey would cope with advances from John.'

Jack almost choked on his apple at the very thought.

'I think John might have tried to persuade him into doing a threesome with Rory and Amy,' Ianto suggested.

Jack shook his head. 'No, he is firmly a one person at a time being.' Ianto looked at Jack in surprise. 'He told me he likes to concentrate.'

'No threesomes then and he would claim Nyssia and Adric along with Luke Smith out of bounds,' Ianto added.

Another silence overtook them as they enjoyed the view

'I've always wondered did you and he... you know?' Ianto asked.

'Yes, it was before he and Captain Boston…'

'No!' Ianto sat up.

'John liked to dabble and Captain Boston had a very open-minded attitude. '

'I never knew,' Ianto admitted softly to himself.

'It was a between missions relationship. To distant friends.' Jack raised his cup and Ianto joined him.

'You know John had this ridiculous idea that you and I…' Ianto started to say.

'Had bonded,' Jack finished the sentence. 'Yeah he made his displeasure pretty clear.'

'As if,' Ianto snorted. 'One moment he won't leave me alone then next…reckons he can smell the difference, anyway he was so disappointed I gave him my cousin Jackson,' Ianto added.

Jack looked at him in surprise.

'If there ever was a human equivalent of an Aurelian it would Jackson. It's like his sexual development got stuck in early adolescence and finding he could do other things with his dick other than with his hand had a profound influence. And he hasn't stopped trying to put it into convenient orifices since. I think they are a perfect match.'

'To Jackson.' Jack raised his cup

'May he find true bliss in those he lays or those who lays him.' Ianto raised his cup.

'Feeling more confident?' Jack said as he stood and started to pack away the picnic. 'How do you feel up to trying to steer left and right?'

'Are you sure?' Ianto look startled.

'I have every faith in you.'

'They could be your very last words,' Ianto said as he helped to pack up the picnic.


	4. Chapter 4

Four

* * *

><p>'Ianto!' Jack yelled over the scream of the engine, trying to keep calm. This was their tenth flying lesson and as the last nine had gone so well he had decided to try Ianto on something more challenging to build his confidence.<p>

Everything had been going well until Jack had indicated Ianto manoeuvre the sled to follow the edge of a substantial lake when a gust of wind had buffeted the sled onto the water. Ianto immediately lost every skill he had gained and was now paralysed.

The sled was spinning with a sideways shift moving further and further onto the lake. 'Let go Ianto.' Jack un-buckled himself and tried to free Ianto's hands. 'Let go of the steering handle.'

'I can't if we do we will hit the water and drown!' Ianto shouted out.

'If you let go of the handle the sled will just hover.'

Jack tried to gage where they were heading but the spin was so disorienting. From what he could tell from the sideways movement they were heading towards a steep cliff which ran a fifth around the opposite side of the lake. The reality was if they hit the cliff then they might actually sink. The water was cold so any hope of survival was out of the question.

'Ianto let go of the handle!' Jack screamed fighting to loosen Ianto's grip.

Several moments passed but Ianto's hold was so strong nothing he could do would loosen even a single finger. Jack was left with only one option; he threw his entire body weight into pulling the handle to the left to counter the right hand spin.

A screaming shock of screeching metal against rock and Jack found himself flying across the sled. The world seemed to turn upside down, jerked violently then stopped. Blinking Jack tried to clear his vision then realised the air around him was full of dust. He felt an urge to cough but found it impossible. A moment of sheer panic hit but he found it impossible to move. All he could think of was they had hit the cliff…but why was there dust and not water? He was drowning in dust.

Before he could do he could flail his arms he felt himself being pulled and dragged outside. Even in his dazed state he noted there seemed a desperation over the actions of the person checking him over that was almost bordering on hysteria.

'Jack,' he heard his name being called and looked up to see Ianto. For a second he wondered why Ianto was even here and why he looked like he was living his worst nightmare.

'Em'mm okay,' Jack struggled to speak in an effort to assure him he was okay.

'Here sit down.' Ianto firmly led him around the sled to what appeared to be a ledge and eased Jack down. With quick movements Ianto knelt and began to check him again to see if had missed an injury. Jack felt like something was running down his face and reaching up he wiped it away. Looking at his fingertips he realised it was blood.

'You're bleeding,' Jack heard Ianto speak and then seemed to disappear. As Jack sat there his sense of where he was began to return. His gaze followed the Ianto and found the sled on its side. Jack creased his forehead in confusion. This didn't look anything like a sheer rock face.

A shadow crossed his vison and the shadow morphed into Ianto opening a first aid kit. Within seconds a wipe began cleaning up the blood.

'All my fault. Why am I such a bloody fool?' Ianto said his voice betraying how worried his was.

'I'm okay,' Jack reassured him.

'No you're not,' Ianto said as he tried to stem the small trickle of blood.

Jack could feel Ianto was visibly shaking so to help he took the wipe and held it against his forehead.

Ianto took Jack's hand and guided it to the right place. Jack could swear Ianto held on to his hand far longer than was necessary.

'I've got some water,' Ianto said his face twisted in distress.

'I'm fine,' Jack said and with every moment felt his senses return. 'Where are we?'

'Small island. The sled hit an outcrop. I panicked then I couldn't move.' Ianto started to check Jack over again like he was a precious object.

Jack took his hand. 'I'm okay.'

'No, you are not.'

'Look at me Ianto. I'm just a bit shaken.' Again Ianto held on to his hand as if reluctant to let go.

'What must you think of me?' Ianto said finally releasing Jack's hand.

'Old pilot rule, any crash you walk away from is a good one. Are you okay?' Jack now asked Ianto.

'Shoulders and chest are a bit sore and my ears are ringing.'

'Sore.' Jack immediately became anxious.

'Only from where the restraints across my shoulders.' Ianto demonstrated with his hands where the pain was.

A horrible taste in Jack's mouth made its presence known. 'Water,' he croaked and found a small opened bottle in his hand. Coughing, he tried to swallow. 'Dust,' he said after the water soothed his throat.

'You have to be okay Jack.' Jack thought he heard Ianto say with such deep concern his voice croaked. Before he knew what he was doing Jack put his head back, took Ianto's hand, and held it against his chest. 'Feel my heart, it's still beating.'

A hand brushed Jack's face. 'I don't want anyone else to be hurt because of me.'

'Not even me?' Jack found himself asking

'Not even you.' Jack heard in reply.

The world swirled again and Jack put his head between his knees trying to work out if this conversation was real when he felt something placed across his shoulders.

A few moments passed and Jack felt a lot better and he sat up. 'What was in that water?' he asked.

'Shock prep; found it in the first aid box. Your colour's improved,' Ianto told him.

'Shouldn't you have checked me first?' Jack queried. 'Before the water that is.'

'Shit,' Ianto said and began to rake his way through the kit. His hands shaking, he came across a small wand. A few seconds passed. 'It's saying treat for shock,' Ianto repeated the message from the read-out.

Jack went to stand. 'Not so fast,' Ianto admonished.

'If I'm fine I need to check the sled,' Jack insisted.

'Bloody sled can wait.'

Surprised at Ianto's vehement outburst then Jack saw the look of raw fear on Ianto's face and sat back down.

'Drink some more of the water.'

Sitting back Jack took a sip and took a moment to have another look at where they had ended up. 'Nice place you managed to find.'

'I guess I earned that one,' Ianto said checking the screen for what appeared to be the twentieth time.

'No seriously. Look where we are.'

Ianto stopped and looked around. There were on the top of a hillock. Jack was sitting on a rectangular flat surface which looked like a slab of some kind. The right side of the slope was open and to the left was a mound at which Jack estimated was three persons tall. The slope led down in a straight line to a flat vertical surface which had a dug-in look about it. Intrigued by Jack's comment Ianto had a thought and using his hands Ianto cleared where Jack's feet were and came across another flat surface. A few more scrapes of dirt to remove the windblown dirt revealed another flat surface the depth of his own foot.

'Two steps and a riser,' Ianto pointed out clearing away more dust.

'Steps leading down but to what?' Jack asked.

'Since we found this place maybe we could work on it as a project.' Ianto dusted off his hands as he felt the thrill of discovery.

Jack felt himself warm despite the cool wind at Ianto's use of the word 'we.'

'Discovered as in hit,' Jack laughed. 'Why not? Doc Smith did say if any of the support staff wanted to work on something we had found ourselves we could do so as long as we followed protocol.'

'Steps leading down then maybe that vertical surface is a door.' Ianto pointed to what looked like the steps' logical destination.

'Makes sense,' Jack said. 'But first let's go check out the damage.' Ianto helped Jack to stand.

* * *

><p>Checking over the outside of the sled Jack came to the understanding that despite having ploughed its way into an outcrop he had come out of the crash worse off than the sled. Even with it wedged in at a sharp angle.<p>

'You know this is not a bad as it looks,' Jack said and slipped down into the cabin. Bracing himself he wiped away the dust from the control panel then pressed the start-up system. The entire frame began to vibrate violently so he turned it off.

He scrambled out to Ianto who was waiting for him, looking forlornly embarrassed.

'I have good news and bad news.' Jack dusted off his hands. 'The good news is the damage looks worse than it is. Once old Bessie is upright I'm pretty sure she will be flyable. The problem is I don't think it will be possible to get it free with just the two of us…' Jack left the rest of the sentence hanging.

'Can we at least try right now I don't think I could handle what I know is coming,' Ianto said his voice betraying a tinge of desperation.

'It's jammed solid and you're not in the best shape. Neither am I.' Jack pulled out his communicator.

* * *

><p>Mickey walked up, then down, then around to view the sled, finally slipping into the interior of the sled struggling to hold onto the large number of comments that kept coming to his head. He knew the stakes were high and Jack had warned that if they were ever to get Ianto to pilot a sled again to keep any comments as matter of fact as possible.<p>

'This is doable. Come with me,' Mickey instructed and led Jack and Ianto up to the nice flat top of the hillock where they had landed.

Moving into his support sled he opened a large utility area towards the back. Opening a cabinet he turned and handed Jack a round object the size of a dinner plate and around ten centimetres thick. Jack recognised it as a lifting device called a jack. He nodded his head in recognition at Mickey's self-control because he knew the man must be bursting to say something. Turning, Mickey handed another to Ianto and took one himself.

Moving back to the downed sled Mickey started to use a crowbar to clear a space big enough to slip one of the devices between the side of the mound and the shuttle. He spied a possibility around half a meter in on the left hand side. Using the bar he kept chipping away.

Using his thumb he made a rough measure and then began to try and slip the round device into place.

'Fit in,' Mickey hissed through gritted teeth. The problem was the sled was so jammed against the wall it was a tight fit. Placing the device by his feet he re-attacked the wall again with the bar. Trying again moments later he stepped back, satisfied.

Taking the control out of his pocket he activated it. With extreme slowness the device began to expand. Once it had extended a hand width, Mickey took the plate Ianto was holding and went to the other side. Now he repeated the action but this time held the jack in place while it expanded.

Walking back to his sled he now took out what looked like a long flattened tube much like a fireman's hose.

'Right Cupcakes, get to the top of the hill and thread this down between middle between the two jacks and no smart comments about which one is real,' he warned.

Moving quickly Ianto scrambled up to the top and slid the heavy hose-like device as far down between the jacks as he could. He stood back and gave Mickey the thumbs' up. Standing there he watched, fascinated, as the tube expanded to fill the space between the two devices. Slowly the sled crept upright. Ianto wondered if it would ever going to right itself when with a clatter it crashed upright.

Jack moved inside the sled. The interior was covered in thick dust again. Sweeping the dust off the control panel with the sleeve of his tunic, he then turned the engine on. His hunch proved correct; the engine was fine it was vibrating because it couldn't move the sled.

'All good,' Mickey said. Jack nodded as he immerged. 'I think the best idea is you set off Jack, Ianto and I follow in my shed.'

Ianto found Jack's gaze upon him. 'Nope, Ianto is going take the sled back.' Jack then watched as all the colour left Ianto's face.

'Are you out of your mind?' Ianto burst out.

'Possibly?' Jack admitted but he knew the reality of the consequences of the crash: if Ianto did not get past this he would never pilot a sled again.

'What do I have to do to prove to you how dangerous I am? Kill us both?' Ianto spelt it out.

Jack pointed across the water. 'We take this slow and steady, you know the route and you know exactly what not to do.'

'That's not the point,' Ianto spat out.

'I bet in the past at the first disaster you protested and bam it was all over and with your insistence there was never a second lesson.'

Ianto looked down into the distance then kicked a stone.

'I'm right aren't I?' Jack hedged.

'Sort of, sometimes the instructor lasted two sessions,' Ianto admitted so softly he and Mickey almost missed what he said.

'The only way you are ever going to overcome your fear is to keep going.'

'You can't be serious,' Ianto said in disbelief.

'Deadly.'

'Deadly is right, Jack! As in dead.'

'The most difficult part of the flight will be over the water. If you panic all you have to do is to let go of the handle and the flyer will stop and just hover. Then once we're back on shore you know the route.'

'No Jack,' Ianto begged.

Jack pulled Ianto aside. 'Have some faith in yourself. You had a crash, the ship is fine. I'm shaken but whatever confidence you ever had has gone.'

'That's not it Jack.…'

'Think about what you've faced. Twice you have fought against terrible odds and won.'

'Low blow.' Ianto pouted.

'The worst thing that could happen already has. I have faith in you even if you don't.'

'Listen, it's getting late we need to be start to making our way back,' Mickey pointed out.

'Time to move,' Jack said gently touching Ianto's arm.

A gust of wind swirled around them both, a degree colder than an hour ago, stirring up the dust and rattling through the leaves of the straggly plant life.

Ianto closed his eyes for a second then opened them and with slow steps moved into the sled.

His hands visibly shaking Ianto placed his hands onto the steering handle and found Jack's hands on his arm.

'Ianto, the worst has happened.'

Ianto stared at Jack. 'No it didn't. The crash only came close to the worst happening.'

Ianto looked haunted but Jack knew if Ianto did not overcome this setback he had a horrible feeling Ianto never would.

'First turn the engine on,' Jack said in his best instructor voice.

The engine began to hum, a slight vibration betraying the earlier accident. The sled rose up and with extreme sluggishness turned and headed off the island.

A sharp intake of breath from Ianto indicated when the surface beneath the sled became liquid.

By the time they hit the shore Jack could see Ianto was utilising all his attention and the journey was steady and without drama.

Ianto began the final approach to the base with a calm that surprised Jack. He marvelled that Ianto managed to pull strength from that deep well of courage he had come to admire so much. He smiled as Ianto brought the sled to a stop like a pro.

As the engine became still Ianto placed his head on the top of the handle. A few seconds passed then without a word he left the sled and started to head towards his cabin.

'Doctor first,' Jack called out.

'I'm tired, dirty and got a blinding headache.'

'All the more reason.'

'No need,' they heard a voice call out. 'Mickey called ahead.' They turned to see Doctor Ian Chesterton waiting for them.

'Considering the rumours,' he said as he ended his examination of both men. 'I'm glad to see you both in such good shape.' He handed them both some foils. 'I would recommend you both eat something before you take these if you can then a sonic shower before bed.'

'I'll bring you both something,' Jackie said kindly.

'Thanks, nothing too heavy,' Ianto pointed out.

'Soup and crackers?'

Ianto nodded and headed off. He had held it together and got the ship back now back he could a desperate need to be on his own building.

Making his way to his cabin, he felt the trembling begin. He marvelled at his own self-control. Opening the door to his quarters he sat down heavily and looked at himself in the mirror. A knock on his door brought him back from his thoughts. Opening the door he took the tray with a wan smile and nodded his thanks. Sitting, he placed the tray on his desk and he looked back into the mirror. A thought hit him and he pushed it away. If he acknowledged the thought then he would have to face those feelings he kept pushing down that he dared not admit existed. Cursed the word sprung into his mind. For the curse to have followed him here then it meant, no he refused to admit it. It was an impossibly, preposterous, absurd and ridiculous, ludicrous even.

'_Then why did you care so much that he was hurt?'_ An inner voice asked. '_Because for the curse to be valid means…'_

Ianto found himself standing and shouting at his reflection.

'Nonsense. We've shared troubled times. I mean I can't even bring myself tell the man I forgive him let alone. My spending time is a fob off, a time waster a desperate ploy nothing more.'

'_And River?' _Ianto sat with a thud and began to open the crackers.

'She just pisses me off.'

'_You keep telling yourself that__,__'_ the voice replied.

* * *

><p>'How are you Jack?' Ianto asked as he saw Jack stiffly enter the dining room.<p>

'I'm betting you are as sore as I am?' Jack asked and was rewarded a pained look followed by a soft groan. 'Yesterday was really hard and I think you flying back deserves some recognition.'

'Jack, to be honest I was hoping yesterday could never be ever mentioned again.'

'Every mistake has that effect. Mistakes happen. It's what you do after that counts.'

'All I want is to go back to bed and suffer in silence.'

'Well, today is the one day you are not going to suffer,' Jack said, smiling. They looked up to see Jackie appear, holding a cupcake with a candle in it.

'Just so you know its carrot cake with cream cheese frosting. First blow out the candle and make a wish then Jack has a surprise for you. Or I could call everyone here with a bigger cake and far more candles.'

Ianto knew when he was beaten and smiled, trying to keep his good humour.

'Now take this and go see Jack's surprise. Besides he won't let any of us use it until you've seen it and had a go.'

'You'll need this.' Ianto creased his forehead in confusion as Jack threw a large towel over Ianto's shoulder.

Holding the cupcake in one hand, coffee in the other, a towel over his right shoulder, Ianto made his way through the base out the door of the garage, down a small path leading to a small rise that overlooked the lake next to the base. His body protesting every step he was about to grumble when they turned the corner. Ianto stopped mid step in surprise.

'Told you it would help,' Jack said, enjoying the look of delightful anticipation on his face.

'This must have taken you hours to put together.' Ianto looked over the deep tub filled with steaming water.

'One of the perks of being Supercargo is knowing what to include when they find everything has been packed and you haven't reached your weight limit.'

Ianto handed him the now empty cupcake case, proceeding to strip off down to his underwear.

Savouring every sensation as he slipped into the water, he let out a groan of sheer pleasure.

'Good?'

'There are no words Jack,' Ianto said as he blissfully sank up to his chin.

'I'll leave you to enjoy and happy birthday.'

'Thank you' Ianto said. 'And a bigger one for not making a big fuss. You have no idea how much I appreciate the gesture and the effort that went into this.'

'You are most welcome,' Jack said sincerely and headed back to base.


	5. Chapter 5

Five

* * *

><p>Ianto sat on the steps leading down to the sanctum, gently cleaning away centuries of accumulated dirt and soil. It was cathartic because underneath was the most incredible work of art. What was so profound was this was just one example of the astounding level of detail that seemed to be almost ludicrous. There was no surface seemingly untouched. Where there was no decoration the object-like flat panels from which Jack had painstakingly removed the layers of dirt appeared to have a practical purpose. Panels like the one Jack had worked on had been found at every dig site. It had been Nyssia that had pointed out from their positions seated to be angled to take advantage of the sun at its highest position suggested they were solar panels. No wiring had ever been found so maybe the panels were just another work of art.<p>

Using a wooden pick around the delicate filigree, it reminded Ianto of an Escher woodcut. Ianto had to agree he was enjoying the debate between the three teams. He was firmly on the side of those who argued the designs had been created by a machine. The very delicacy, precision and sheer abundance meant they felt mechanical in nature.

Doctor Smith the younger counter-argued that it was just as highly likely that they were created by organic life. Human beings could create with delicate, amazing, and detailed precision. Look at Angkor Watt or the Tahj Mahal. Some earth artefacts appeared to be machined made but were in fact designed and created by living breathing sentient beings. A mechanical means could execute the work. Ianto agreed, as Rory pointed out there were no visible errors one would expect from the sheer repetition.

The sheer beauty of them made them hard to believe they could have just been made by any sort of machine. You needed a programmer; someone to suggest a design. And what machine had such a sense of colour into the interwoven work of art he was working on? It reeked of intelligence.

What everyone did agree on was that whoever created the sheer exuberance that covered every possible surface had a deep-seated passion for precise detail that suggested a culture steeped in a need for attention to detail that came from a desire for beauty.

A stiff wind hit the area and blew up a degree of dust and Ianto coughed. Despite the lake this area of the planet was dry. All rainfall in this part of the planet was sporadic hence the dust. This lake in the middle of a semi-arid desert was not unusual. However a more detailed scan showed it was artificial and fed by large deep underwater spring. The only outlet was a large circular drain several meters across. At first Ianto had thought it was used for supplying the nearby settlements or for irrigation but a surface scan showed no evidence of the infrastructure that suggested underground pipe works. This information only raised more questions because the drained water was fed back into the aquifer in a feedback loop.

The only artificial structure within kilometres was this island with its strange collection of panels, and dome.

Their curiously was almost more than they could bear as they cracked the door open to reveal the inner chamber.

There were no bodies, something Ianto was grateful for. A body or bodies inside would indicate this was a tomb of some kind. In fact the entire site was clear of bodies, something that was out of the norm from the other three locations being worked on.

Whatever happened had happened in an instant. Large numbers been left where they had dropped. Others more strangely were in rows like an army waiting for an order than never came.

More curious was the examination of the bodies. Recognisably humanoid, they were clearly organic; they had a strange set of organs that had no clear connection with any other known organic or biological model. Doctor Chesterton had advised these were more in keeping with the organic artefacts they had uncovered so suggested these were mechanical in nature.

A race of mechanical beings who just dropped where the fell, and if this was correct then them sitting in lines made sense. They were waiting for orders that never came.

No prolonged disaster had wiped out this population. Whatever happened had come swiftly and killed every living one of them in an instant. A disease perhaps? '_Had to have been deadly to kill beings in mid-step__,__'_ Ianto thought.

Ianto paused to look towards the door of the chamber as he recalled his relief. He was not squeamish but the bodies had a creep out factor of ten thousand as far as he was concerned. A zero body count didn't mean they were coming close to understanding the function of the dome. Firstly the interior was a lot deeper and wider than the outside of the dome suggested. The inside was covered with seemingly the same organic material that made up the artefacts and bodies they had found. Ianto likened it to plastic, with so many varied forms and functions objects might appear to be different, but when you examined it was the same material.

From the door, they had seen before them in the centre was a step-down pit which was surrounded by arm-like structures that curved in. None of the arms met but when Jack stood in the centre it gave the impression of being in a cage.

After a scan it has been discovered that under the centre of the pit was a shaft that went directly into the lake. There was a cover of concentric rings which could be opened. After a delicate operation of several days to remove the cover they found the shaft was filled with a strange sponge-like substance that was dry. However the next time they visited to take a second sample of the material on the behest of Doctor Smith the elder they found the substance made up of a fine tangle of fibrous filaments had acted as a sponge and was wet. Clearly something had shifted when they had removed the shaft cover.

At first they had worried they might have damaged something, causing the water to rise. However the location of the shaft over the water had Ianto pointing out that perhaps the spongy matter was meant to be wet. The sample only confirmed what they knew, the fibrous material was the same organic matter that was ubiquitous to every structure and artefact found.

On the wall opposite were three large rounded triangles each depicting a different scene. The first which the dial was pointed at was a tropical island scene, another a jungle scene complete with a waterfall, and finally another lake. On close examination it was not this lake but another one. . In the centre of the triangles a hand-sized circular dial that suggested it could be moved indicate one of the triangles. There was only one other object; what looked like a lever which was pushed to the right.

Surrounding the entire wall, including the triangles and lever, were ropes of the same filaments that had been traced to the panels that ran down the outside of the dome

There had been a lot of debate about what this was used for.

The current theory was that it was a viewing portal. You dialled up a scene from one on the wall and a three D model was created within the arms. Ianto was not convinced, if he had to put money on it he would swear it was some kind of matter transportation device. You stood in the cage over the central shaft, turned the dial, the lever was pulled and you were then transported to that destination. However by his own expertise in the field he knew that there was not enough power here to make it work. So perhaps this was a failed experiment of some kind. It could even be a play thing sort of mock up for game play. It could be none of those.

Ianto dusted off his hands and took a picture of the area he had just cleaned. He was always amazed that while he was working what seemed like meters long but when he drew back he had only cleared a few centimetres.

As Ianto stretched and looked at the door his watch beeped reminding him it was time to take a break.

Walking to the sled he pulled open the door and opened a refresher pack. Opening the drink first he took a look at the view.

Ianto felt a tinge of satisfaction at his achievement of getting here on his own. Weeks of hard work and he had finally deemed safe enough to take a sled solo. Solo as in using routes he had gone over time and time again until he knew every plant, rock, dip and turn.

Ianto now opened the snack pack and found a note from Jack. It felt strange to be here on his own today. Jack was helping unload an extra donk then assisting Doctor Smith the elder in helping to build up a whole new section of scaffolding to shore up several structures on the point of collapse.

Ianto stared at the note. It was a message apologising he could not be there today complete with a sad face drawn in a circle.

Ianto knocked back the final dregs of the drink then screwed up the note and tossed it away. A gust of wind caught it and Ianto found himself running to stop it flying away. Reaching it he picked it up and quickly checked it for damage. Smoothing it out he placed it in his pocket.

Making his way back to his work he sat down by the section he was working on. Three scrapes later he stopped, retrieved the note from his pocket, re-read it again then placed it back in his pocket.

It was bloody infuriating the way the man just had to remind him he was absent today. Yes, for once he was here on his own, and enjoying the solitude. Ianto began to brush away, to remove any loose debris, with a stiff haired brush.

Taking a breath he continued to attack the wall... Another message yesterday, his Dad said all the right things but he looked and sounded diminished somehow, like something was eating him from the inside out. Ianto felt a wave of guilt; every day that was passing was a day closer to getting back home. The wall was now free of any loose debris, and Ianto picked up the wooden pick and examined the surface to see where he could make a start and saw a spot and let his thinking wander and found himself thinking of his most recent dream.

'For the sake of all that is good and right why did my mind have to think this now?' Ianto said out loud. It was like some anarchic part his mind was in control to what thoughts would suddenly spring into his mind.

He knew the cause; it was playing squash with Jack. The man seemed to exude raw sexuality, and he found his eyes seemed to map every muscle as he played. It only got worse as each work out intensified, the man's musky scent from his efforts combined with what Jack was using as aftershave was enough to drive him to distraction. Jack thought his play had really improved but all that had happened Ianto knew was because he was being reduced to a shivering dry mouth, heart thumping wreck as soon as the man entered the room.

If that was not bad enough, for weeks now he had woken panting, his cock aching, and worse twice he had woken with his orgasm spent. The dreams were always the same.

Playing squash….there was always a fight to rip each other's clothes off, it was rough, brutal then there was the most erotic fight for supremacy. Sometimes it was Ianto who overpowered Jack and other times it was Jack who overpowered him. The arousal came from the fight itself which then led to a volcanic explosion of what Ianto could only call animal lust. Jack's lips were hot as he took his cock in his mouth and worked him. And the man was relentless no matter how much he might beg him to stop. Jack just gave that twisted smile and continued until he exploded.

Yet later in the same dream Ianto was as equally un-merciful when he took Jack. Balls deep he felt such a feeling of power as he drove into the man who was fully at his mercy, begging him to never stop. Part of him was alarmed at the sheer ferocity of the hunger this appeared to represent. Another part was totally aroused by the dreams. What was so infuriating was no matter how much distraction or hard work, he found himself looking at Jack in a way that made him want to slam the man against the nearest wall and kiss him senseless….and as for River Song...he felt himself heat up at the bare thought of her, she was always fawning over Jack. As soon as she saw him she was trying to engage him in conversation, laughing at his jokes, pretending to be interested. Ianto could read her like a book, infuriating woman he knew that predatory look when he saw it.

He took the note out of his pocket, none of this could explain why he kept keeping Jack's notes. He had a box of the bloody things. This had to stop.

He had an idea. Standing he walked to the top of the stairs and reaching the highest point then placed the note on the ground. All he had to do was walk away and a breeze would take the note; problem solved.

A typical gust caught him. The wind was too strong. He decided he didn't want to see the note disappear otherwise he might be compelled to run after it. Looking down he picked up a small stone and placed it on the note. Perfect. He stepped back. Not perfect the stone was too small and the note might still flutter away before he was back on the step. Picking up a bigger rock he replaced it with the smaller one. Perfect.

His back turned he reached the top of the stairs when a strong gust caught him and he felt a moment of panic. Racing back he snatched up the note and checked it to make sure it hadn't come to any harm then carefully placed it back into his pocket. Now the note was safe he returned to his work.

A long shadow reached Ianto's foot and at the same time his stomach growled. Looking back much to his pleasure he had cleared several more centimetres since the note incident. What was he thinking? He had almost lost it. Better it be kept with the others then later after had received some professional help because if he had gone mad he could decide what to do with them.

His wrist strap bleeped. Ianto checked it was not his usual alert sound. It was deeper; he checked the symbol and date. It came to him and he sat staring into the distance.

How could he have forgotten, so wrapped up in his own warped fantasies and dreams feelings he had no right to feel?

'It was all my fault,' he said into the wind. She would be here today if he hadn't been such a spoiled brat. This was the very day, the final act in terrible chain of events he had caused.

She was the sun he lived in orbit around and even if he protested having her arms around him made him feel like everything was right in his world. And then she was gone. His mistakes, his failure, he must never forget what his actions had caused.

He had been cursed and rightly so. His punishment was to see everyone he cared for lost due his own action or inactions.

And it was happening again. As much as he fought, this devil's compromise was not working. It was a disaster in the making.

He stood and made a vow, no matter what he couldn't let it happen again. He was not going to be the cause of the ruination of someone else's life. '_Even if it was Jack Harkness?_' the wind seemed to taunt him.

'Even him,' Ianto found himself answering. 'Jack has worked hard and he just wasn't the person he was, whatever his future held.' This had to be for the best. No matter what his own feelings as conflicted as they were, could see where this might lead. Already there had been one near miss. He just couldn't risk it.

* * *

><p>Standing he stood for a long time looking into the distance, steeling himself. Then with a hesitant step he made it to the sled and headed back towards the base.<p>

Easing the sled between the others, he parked. He swallowed; everyone was back then and he braced himself.

Opening the door he saw Jack waiting for him with a big grin.

'Hiya! How did it go?'

Ianto brushed passed him without turning his head and began to sort it the rubbish into the right bins.

'You okay? Did something happen?' Jack asked

Ianto stopped momentarily and shook his head. 'Just had one hell of a day.'

'Join me for a drink?' Jack offered.

'Look I'm beat. I thought an early night.'

'Everyone is meeting in the rec area to talk over the day,' Jack pointed out.

'Hello Sweetie.' They heard a voice call out. 'I wondered where you had gotten to.'

Ianto and Jack turned to see River Song heading their way.

Without further invitation she placed her arm through Jack's and took his hand. 'You promised to meet me for a drink,' she said with a wide smile.

'How about it Ianto?' Jack offered.

'We're going to celebrate the stabilisation of the first building,' River added.

Jack took note of the look on Ianto's face as River moved in closer. He had seen Ianto express every possible emotion but the man looked thunderous, his eyes fixed on where arm met arm.

'No; hard day. Just want to rest,' Ianto found himself answering.

'You sure?'

'Sure,' Ianto heard himself say and stalked away towards his cabin.


	6. Chapter 6

Six

* * *

><p>Jack sat opposite River as she chatted away to him over breakfast. She was making all the right signals and noises; she was smart, funny, witty, and clearly interested. He only had to say the word and he could enjoy her company on a far more intimate level. Times past he had been so lonely he might have indulged.<p>

The problem as he saw it was two- fold; expedition gossip suggested that River held a serious flame for Doc Smith the elder. It was still glowing strongly even when he settled with the lovely Rose. River was a beautiful vivacious, sexy woman. Jack was man of the world to know enough that her interest in him was a tactic to score a point, several points in fact.

The other… Jack watched as Ianto entered into the rec area and helped himself to breakfast. Jack could see he was all smiles and friendliness with other members of the expedition. Not that he minded in fact it acted as a reminder of just how things might have played out on the _Diligence _had Susie not been aboard. The development of camaraderie was a natural outcome of people working together on a shared project.

Jack felt a rise of an all too familiar feeling of despondency as Ianto went and joined a table with Mickey. Ianto's return that fateful day three weeks ago had seen a change Jack was still bewildered to understand. Ianto had become aloof, disinterested, cold, disapproving, scornful, sarcastic and rude. Not a day went by when Jack was reminded of just how low he was in the order of the man's life.

It was like the events of the '_Torchwood_' had never happened. Understanding would help but Ianto wouldn't speak to him. Eight times he had tried and every conversation he had been left stunned at the change in the man.

And the final straw was today. Thinking Ianto would be joining him on their island dig to look forward too and get an opportunity to talk, he saw Ianto had changed his roster.

So that was it. Every potential moment of time they could spend together had been effectively wiped. '_Not that it mattered__,__'_ Jack argued with himself. Ianto had found a way to avoid him to such an extent he was surprised to see him here in the same room.

'There you are.' Jack founds his thoughts interrupted as Doc Smith the elder stood in front of him with a tray, accompanied by Rose.

'I've been meaning to catch up with you,' Doc Smith said. He sat and his tray landed with a plonk but made no attempt to start eating.

Doc Smith looked Jack in the eye. 'This is the best run expedition I've been involved with. Brilliant job, operation running smooth as it possibly possible to be. This is all down to you and when I think of the list of suitable people just queuing up and you were the last person…but compromises had to be made,' Doc Smith paused and smiled. 'That's all water under the bridge and here you are.'

'Yes I am,' Jack said not sure how to respond under Doc Smith's intense stare.

'Yes you are. I was just saying to Rose, respect earned and due. Proved me wrong and I have never been happier to be proved wrong.'

'Thank you sir.' Jack went cold at being reminded at why he was here.

'Well done indeed. Keep up the good work.' Doc Smith stood abruptly taking his tray.

'I'm so sorry he's not normally this tactless,' Rose said as Doctor Smith settled at another table.

'What is he talking about compromises had to be made?' River asked.

'I'm not sure I'm the one to explain.' Rose looked embarrassed.

Jack watched as Ianto now finished and took his tray back to the tray return. 'Ask Ianto Jones.'

'What has he got to do with you being here?' River asked.

'That's a damn good question and I think it's time I was given an answer.' Jack pushed back his chair roughly filling the room with a sharp scraping noise and headed towards the exit.

* * *

><p>Jack stopped himself following Ianto half way down the corridor. A public row was never good for morale but a very private one felt a damn good idea. Confronting Ianto felt right but where? How in such a way Ianto could not run off or avoid the situation?<p>

Getting Ianto on his own was the issue. Alone in private where they would not be disturbed, somewhere reasonably soundproof and have this out once and for all.

Moving to his own small office Jack pulled up the roster for the social activities. With a tired smile an idea came to him.

* * *

><p>Ianto warmed himself up making a few practice swings then he hit the ball around the court. Catching the ball in his hand he began a series of stretches.<p>

His partner Ian Chesterton was good. Better than good, it had been a pleasure to find another player around his level. In truth he was being brought firmly up to match the level of play. Swinging his racket he relished the challenge and the exercise would allow him to work off seeing Jack with River.

It was infuriating to see them together but to be expected. It meant the plan was working. Jack was moving on, finding someone who matched his energy…and passion for life. Good for him. That said the last three weeks had been brutal, and it had taken every ounce of fortitude to keep hurting the man. To see the pain was almost more that he could bear. Jack was confused and more than wounded but this had to work, Jack's life and whole future depended on it.

The door opened…

'You're playing me today,' Jack said as he walked in.

'Ian and I have the court for the next hour,' Ianto said looking over Jack's shoulder hoping that Ian was right behind him.

'Nope we made a swap.'

'This is a bad idea,' Ianto said as he recovered his surprise.

'One game Ianto, you owe me.' Jack pointed his racket at Ianto.

'I don't owe you anything,' Ianto said putting all the emphasis on the word you.

'I kept my end of the deal.'

'I have no idea what you are talking about,' Ianto retorted.

'The deal was I teach you to fly and you teach me squash. Last time I looked you were flying a sled,' Jack said.

'You got the basics of squash; the rest is up to you,' Ianto added trying to keep his composure as a whiff of Jack's aftershave hit him.

'I gave you my expertise and I am asking for the same in return,' Jack argued, gratified to see how unsettled Ianto looked. '_Good__,__'_ he thought. 'I_ might get to uncover the truth'_

'Jack, there are some things you can't teach, it comes with practice.'

Jack pointed a finger into Ianto's chest. 'Touché, I spent hours with you practicing flying. I demand the same level of help I gave you in abundance.' Jack could see Ianto was thinking over his ultimatum. He could just walk out but a deal was a deal and if this worked they would have at least an hour of very private time. The room was mostly soundproof so the discussion as it got heated would remain between them.

'Very well,' Ianto made his stance and made a furious serve.

Jack, not quite prepared, jumped out the way.

Bending down Jack picked up the ball and served.

A few minutes passed and the speed and intensity of the game was far beyond anything he had experience before. Ianto was a maniac, another ball headed his way and this time avoidance was impossible. It hit Jack in the side.

'What is with you?'

'You wanted to play Jack. If you don't have the skill to play at my level,' Ianto pointed at the door.

'When I taught you to fly I started at your level. Why is it so difficult to give me the same courtesy?' Jack retorted as he rubbed the area that was still stinging.

'You were the one who wanted the game.'

'A game Ianto! Is that what you are playing? Tell me this why am I here!'

'I don't know what you are talking about.' Ianto waited for Jack to serve.

'It's a simple question, Ianto: what am I doing here?'

'If you don't know, nothing I could say will help,' Ianto pointed out playing with the strings on his racket.

'A non-answer. Just as I expected.'

'Listen, you don't look unhappy. Look like its working out, you and River...'

'What?' Jack burst out at the turn of the conversation. 'Is that the problem? You're jealous?'

'Hardly,' Ianto replied a little too quickly.

'River and I are just friends; nothing more.'

'She suits you,' Ianto pointed out.

'You giving me advice on my love life now are you?' Jack said in disbelief.

'Just thought you and her…'

'I'm not interested and that still does not answer my question. What am I doing here? And to be specific what am I doing here as Supercargo?'

'I assume that your being here was part of the recruitment process. Doc Smith would be the best person to answer why he chose you,' Ianto said as casually as he could.

'Did he? Tell me after you left without warning, weeks later I start getting all these images and messages from you. Why?'

Ianto flushed with embarrassment. Even now he had no idea why he had sent them. 'You didn't have to come.'

'Then why did you insist I be taken on as a requirement of your acceptance?'

'That's not what happened,' Ianto eyes widened as he stuttered a reply.

'I got turned down as Supercargo along with an extensive list of what they considered my failings. Then suddenly out of the blue two days later I get this message, because let's face it Doc Smith is hardly someone who is known for any kind of tact, he lays it out in no uncertain terms that I was the price to pay for your acceptance. Nothing to say?' Jack railed at Ianto's shocked silence. 'I gave up so much to come here.'

'Eighteen months, Jack! Hardly a lifetime.'

'Some things only come along once in a lifetime. When I return I'll have to pick up the pieces from the bottom, again.'

'Let's face it with your career prospects Supercargo would have been a step up,' Ianto said with as much indifference as he could muster.

Jack felt all his self-control slip and he pushed his face into Ianto's. 'You bastard! I gave up the captaincy of the _Torchwood _to come here.' A horrible realisation came to Jack. 'You knew and set me up! That's it isn't it? '

'Tell me you didn't,' Ianto answered staggered by Jack's revelation.

'You complete and utter bastard. I'm trapped and my one chance to prove and redeem myself amongst my peers is gone. Exchanged for scarping about in dirt.' Jack found himself shouting as what he thought his understanding of events began to dig deep. 'No doubt exactly where you think I deserve to be.'

'I had no idea about the '_Torchwood__,_' Ianto tried in vain to defend himself.

'You are a bad liar. It worked Jones, You won. You got payback,' Jack said through gritted teeth.

'It's not what you think, I can explain...' Ianto said moving towards him his hand outstretched.

'Too late, Jones.' Jack stabbed his finger at Ianto. 'You have nothing to say I want to hear.' Turning on his heel Jack threw the door open then passing through slammed it with as much force as he could.

Ianto stood staring at the closed door. He felt sick as a whirl of emotions made him first hot then cold. Jack wouldn't, he didn't, he couldn't, he wouldn't… he had. To come here.

When he had stood in the garden, all these months ago he had never considered the full cost to Jack. He would never ask the man to make such a sacrifice. Had he known he would have wished him the best of luck. Then sat back and enjoyed seeing the man fulfil his calling. And he had given it all up on a few messages…and unfinished business between them.

All of Jack's desperation came to the fore and he found himself back at that moment on the bridge, when Jack was trying to say something. Why was he thinking of that now Ianto asked himself? Seconds passed and with it came understanding. It had to be why, it explained so much. As he thought about it Jack had been so attentive…the hot tub set up just in time for his birthday. The tub for everyone…he doubted that very much. How many times had he spoken about the luxury on long expeditions of the loss of something so fundamental? It was all there and he had missed every possible sign so wrapped up in his own warped twisted view of life.

And here was he trying to ensure that Jack had no feelings for him. '_Little too late for that__,__'_ he heard an internal voice echo. _'Too late by years.'_ Jack was here for one reason. Ianto cursed himself for only seeing this now. It explained so much, including Jack's desire to create any opening to be with him. Even after weeks of disdain he was still trying to understand.

He felt himself move towards the door. '_Jack thought he had ruined his career __maybe this was for the best__.__'_ Jack hated him just as he wanted. Moving slowly deep in thought he made his way back to his quarters. Sitting down he looked in the mirror.

'This is was for the best,' he kept repeating to himself but as he sat there looking into his own reflection a deep part of him welled up. He could not let this stand. As much as he wanted to prevent any kind of relationship developing or going any further as events had now shown he couldn't let Jack believe this of him.

His own motivations, as disturbed and conflicted as they were, had led someone who has moved heaven and earth to redeem himself to ruin his life against the rocky desolate shore that was his existence. Jack was right about one thing, he was here because he insisted he be included. Like so many other times in his life Ianto mused he was responsible for a chain of events that had caused someone to be hurt. The truth was had he not acted then Jack would be Captain of the _Torchwood. _Jack would not waste his chance, Ianto vowed, if he had anything to do with it. He would do everything in his power to ensure Jack would get the chance he had earned. But that would have to wait until their return. Right now he needed to face the man and say he was sorry for dragging him here.

* * *

><p>'Have you seen Jack?' Ianto asked Mickey who was in the tool store doing an inventory.<p>

'He said if you asked to tell you 'to go screw yourself',' Mickey said not looking up from his list.

'So he thought I might come looking for him then,' Ianto pointed in a sigh.

'He also said if you insisted on taking a sled to go and keep going.'

Ianto wiped his hand over his face.

'What's been your problem with Jack these last few weeks?'

'It's complicated. If I'm going to explain it, Jack should be the one to hear,' Ianto said honestly.

'Life's always complicated. What's new?' Mickey replied counting out a set of tools and writing them down.

'We have history, it's not an easy or nice one and I need to sort this out. I'm asking please let me know where he is.'

'He was pretty upset.'

'I've done something I'm not proud off and I need to apologise.'

'He's taken off to the Island.'

'Thanks Mickey.'

'Just get it sorted.'

'I will,' Ianto promised and headed towards the nearest empty sled.

'You told him then,' Jackie said as she joined Mickey. 'You know I think there is hope for you yet'

'Listen, sod hope. I don't think I can put up with another meal while Ianto sends daggers at River every time she looks at Jack and don't get me started about how he reacts when she touches him. I wish they would just stop all the flailing around and get on with it.'

'You are; you're turning into a hopeless romantic.' Jackie play punched his arm.

'Nothing to do with romance' Mickey protested. 'I just don't understand how two people made for each other can dance around each other such endless bloody circles. You could look your whole life and not find the right person. And there they are standing in front of each other...'

'I don't understand it either. The way they both look at each other when they think the others not looking. I want to shake the pair of them,' Jackie said.

'From the way Jack stormed off something happened today so with any luck by the time they get back it will be sorted,' Mickey added.

'Let's hope so or I will have to give them a sorting out.'

'Oh no not a sorting. Anything but that,' Mickey teased.

'They won't need it. You mark my words, by the time they come back here they will be sorted.' Jackie smiled and nodded to herself. 'You mark my words. The next time they fly through that hanger it will be sweetness, love and holding hands.

'Now who's the hopeless romantic? If it does happen I just want to know one thing,' Mickey said 'Whose gets the short straw to tell River?'

'Trust me she already knows.' Jackie winked.

'Does she?' Mickey replied.

'She's a woman. Of course she bloody knows.'

'Oh well that explains everything,' Mickey retorted as Jackie left

'You had better believe it,' he heard reply.

* * *

><p>With great care Jack re-positioned the tubing as it dripped some water along each of the four edges of the uppermost edge of the blocks and took a step back. It had been hard work removing all the windblown soil and roots, now the entire bed of strange flat blocks had been cleared.<p>

The argument to what they were was over. They were solar collectors. After a short rain at another dig an entire a whole of section of paving had lit up. It had then on examination they had found a strip of fibre, when soaked with water, touched the other panels completing the connection and they glowed. So if he was right it should work here. First, soak the entire bank. To do this he had created a micro-tube system that allowed water to trickle down. Three hours and almost all of them were coming back to life. This was just stage one of his work here today; fingers crossed he was right he could start to bringing the dome back to life.

The work had not calmed him but it did feel good to do something physical. Jack felt such a fool having fallen for this whole situation. He had been caught hook line and sinker. Martha's warnings echoing around his mind wasn't helping. Why hadn't he listened?

A sinking feeling roiled in his stomach. He had been the king of fools. All his hard work and he had thrown it away.

A thought came to him. Maybe this was his punishment; maybe losing his future again was what the universe had in mind for his true punishment. Maybe it was to see everything he ever worked for just within fingertip reach then come crashing down.

He looked around their dig. 'His,' he said to himself. Ianto hadn't been here in weeks. He had put all the hard work into clearing the panels and discovered the dome was a sink for water. This was his dig now and if nothing else whatever he found meant his efforts and time in this debacle wouldn't be a complete waste.

He stood back. To his satisfaction he saw that every block was now glowing a light blue, deepening with every moment.

A noise caught his attention but he dismissed it.

'Jack,' a voice called his name and he turned to see Ianto.

'Jones, go away.'

'Jack, we should talk.'

'Jones, I'm not sure how many ways there are to say, fuck off, but take it as read that I've just said all of them to you.'

'Jack, I had no idea.'

Jack walked away and looked over the roof of the dome. There he checked to ensure the soak hole at the centre of the dome was still filling. It was taking a phenomenal amount of water but if he was right then at some point in the past there had been some sort of arrangement that filled it to the top. There was a strange arrangement inside that had channelled water to the cables.

He would go check in a moment and see if his hunch was correct and the cables that snaked along the right hand wall were swelling.

'Let me guess, that great renown man of honour, the esteemed chairman from the space command oversight committee who just happened to be your father found out?'

'That's not what happened,' Ianto said.

'Was there a family con-fab? A plan was hatched: Let's ruin Harkness just like he ruined you.'

'We're not like that,' Ianto replied. He was not Suzie but Jack was so angry right now he was venting about the unfairness of what he thought was going on.

'Oh so it was just you and your Dad then?' Jack said and walked down the line of piping to the lake to check it was still pumping

'My family would never do that. But they are part of the problem...' Ianto said following

'Jones, what is your current obligation to Space Command?' Jack interrupted.

Ianto didn't quite know to answer but before he could reply Jack spoke again.

'How much is your obligation and how many years do you think you will have to be in service to pay the debt back?'

'As I thought,' Jack said when Ianto did not reply. 'Being privileged must have been so hard coming from a top school with the best tutors and all that. I bet you applied and bang you got accepted. Seeing who your father is.'

'That's not what happened,' Ianto said bristling at the suggestion had not got in on his own merits.

'Let me tell you what it's like in the real world. I had to work for years to just get a chance to get a single opportunity at sitting the entrance exam. Do you know you only get one chance? One fail and that's it. Years I spent studying every possible moment, tests, after school, before school special classes. Being in a class of six hundred other students all fighting for their one chance. And there is no hand up for the entry fee, it's thousands of credits paid up front in cash. Can't find the cash? Let me assure there is a whole world of sharks lined up waiting for students desperate to accept any offer. And if you're lucky to get accepted the tuition is bonded service for twenty years plus of your life owed to Space Command in any capacity they see fit. Make it or not they will have their pound of flesh.'

'My family did me no favours,' Ianto said bluntly.

Jack growled and balled his fists. 'I'm sick and tired of hearing about how hard it was being the son of a rich man. I bet they fell over themselves to get you in. At least you have a family who care enough to move heaven and earth to help you fulfil your every dream. Some of us are not so lucky.'

'And your father, look how you've treated him. My father gave me one thing. I don't even have his name. I just have the one picked out under H for the day I was handed over.'

'Jack please listen…'

'Fuck you Jones. I made terrible mistake, I paid for it. I've done everything in my power to undo that mistake…I didn't deserve to start back at the bottom again… so Fuck YOU,' Jack spat at him.

Ianto followed down the steps when Jack spun around 'What is it about 'Fuck off' that is so hard for you to understand? I got it Jones. You won.'

'Nobody has won anything! In fact we've both lost. I'm trying to say I'm sorry.'

Jack ignored him heading into the dome

Looking up at the sky, Ianto calmed himself. This was always going to be difficult. He braced himself. To put this right he had to listen to everything Jack could throw at him. Just as Jack had when they were in the hole together and had Ianto vented his entire misunderstanding of Jack's motivation for what happened after he was found on the holo-suite. Taking a deep breath he stepped into the dome.

At first Ianto didn't recognise them then realised they has swelled from the water Jack had fed into the structure. Jack was busying checking the cables that were now looking like fat intertwined snakes.

Ianto was astonished at the progress that had been made. The panel on the wall showing the three places was in far more detail than he could have imagined. The island looked tropical, reef, beach, swaying palm trees. No matter where you went if the planet was tropical there was always reefs sand and swaying palm trees.

Moving across, Jack ignored him as he worked using what looked like a long nosed watering can, pouring water along channels. As he watched Ianto saw the panels begin to glow the same blue as the panels outside. The panel of three were still dormant but Ianto could see, a soft blue creeping along the cables moving ever closer to contact.

'Jack, I'm here to apologise. To say I'm sorry.'

Jack spun around and stepped into the middle and faced Ianto, his eyes ablaze with fury.

'Sorry for getting me here, sorry that no matter how hard I worked you can just come along and rip it all away?'

'That is not my intention. I'm sorry, I didn't know about the _Torchwood._'

All around them the water trickled down, seeping into crevices, igniting connections, surging, coming alive. It reached critical mass and the strips surrounding the panels began to glow a deep blue.

'Now we are even, I fucked you over and now you've enacted upon me the same privilege.'

'Please hear me.'

'I hate you Jones. You've never had to work for anything your entire life…'

'Jack, you don't know anything about me. That's unfair and untrue.'

'Here we are back talking about you. I worked, humiliated, knowing how badly I had failed. And you couldn't stand it. Seeing me crawl back up and you just waited and bided your time.'

'I didn't know about the _Torchwood_ Jack. I didn't know!' he shouted out as he and Jack were bathed in blue light.

Looking up Ianto saw the arms of the cage were sizzling with energy.

'Jack!' Ianto called in warning and tried to push him out of the cage but Jack pushed him right back.

A screech filled the air, followed by a searing white light.

Flash-blind Ianto found himself waist deep in water. Spots flashing overwhelmed his vision and he thrashed around. Touching something soft he heard a grunt and realised Jack was here as well.

Splashing around, Jack reasoned the roof of the dome has suddenly collapsed filling the interior of the dome with water. What he couldn't fathom was why the light appeared to be coming from the left and not from above. As the moments passed and his vision began to clear he stumbled towards the light.

'What have you done?' Jack said as he splashed his way to the opening.

'What have I done?' Ianto yelled at him. 'You were the one who bloody powered it up.'

'I just added water,' Jack said as he stepped off the surface he was standing on. The water was deep and he spluttered to the surface.

'Famous last words…'I just added water'.'

'Where the hell are we?' Jack said swimming towards the shore.

'It's that bloody island,' Ianto shouted back.

'What island?'

'The one on the panel.' Ianto found he could now stand and waded ashore. Dripping, he stood and watched as Jack sloshed ashore. 'I knew it,' Ianto said as Jack started to try wring out his clothing.

'Of course you did,' Jack snarked.

'I had my suspicions. I figure they must have a way of splitting water atoms to power the thing.'

Jack looked at him with loathing then back the way he had swum from. He could see a dome halfway between what looked like a reef and the beach. The design looked horribly familiar.

'I'm going to see if there is anything or anyone who can help.' Jack took off down the beach.

'Don't you think we should stick together?' Ianto shouted after him.

Jack turned round and gave him the finger.

Ianto looked out at the dome. It had to be working hence they were here and if that bloody thing could get them here it had to get them back.

Looking down the beach Jack was still going at one hell of a pace. It was not all bad maybe he would come across the one thing they would need above all else, water.

Standing Ianto began to search for any sign of water. Taking a survey he could see no signs of any silver snakes indicating a stream winding their way towards the sea.

Taking off his jersey he found a stick and staked the garment into the sand by the tree line so it would be visible if and when Jack returned. If he returned. He had made a right pig's ear of this. One thing he knew for utter certainly was if they couldn't get back and the message got out it would kill his dad. And Jack had no one to care if he lived or died and he felt terribly sad. Ianto groaned; not now, survival first.

Moving forward he made his way inland.


	7. Chapter 7

Seven

* * *

><p>Walking inland, Ianto followed what looked like a small animal track. Every now and then he made a mark of some kind; mostly twisted grass or something he would recognise later and get back to the beach. A few meters more and the track led him to a dip in the sand that looked damp.<p>

Pressing the ground, his hand came back wet. He took a tiny taste and spat it out. He was betting this was tidal but it gave him hope. Following what looked like dead steam bed he found another patch of wet-looking ground. Carefully he made a small hole with his hands. He was rewarded with a small puddle of water. He bent down and took a tiny sip. It was not brackish but had a filthy muddy taste. But drinkable. It would do for now.

Following his signs he reached the beach. Jack had disappeared from view.

The shadows suggested that this was late afternoon. It would be night soon and who knew what was around. Just because the last location was benign did not mean this one was.

Ianto found some downed fronds and other bits of wood strewn about. He started to gather material and picked up a lump of wood.

* * *

><p>Jack sat at the other end of the beach, looking towards the dome. Jack cursed out loud for all the universe to hear.<p>

Jack watched the shadows getting longer. What now? This was no resort, a few birds, nature but no people, alien or otherwise…around this part anyway.

He sniffed. He looked around and swore he could smell smoke.

Standing, he dusted himself off. He was mostly dry in parts but the dampness in places that didn't bear mentioning, were not improving his mood. Looking down the beach he weighed up his odds. Right now the last person he want to see or converse with was Jones.

On the other hand the man had lit a fire, and it was getting dark. The best option was to swallow his pride and do what he had to.

Walking over towards the smoke he saw Ianto tending a tiny fire.

'You made a fire. What did you do, rub two sticks together?'

'No Jack, I had a laser starter I carry with me at all times just in case I get stranded somewhere and have to start a fire,' Ianto retorted. 'Did you find any water?'

'And I supposed you did.' Jack sat with a thump and narrowed his eyes against the low sun.

'Sort of.'

'Let me guess…crashing through the undergrowth you found the alien equivalent of Perrier water.'

'Well, if you mean slightly muddy and with an aftertaste of rotting vegetation, sure,' Ianto added and Jack pulled a face at the thought. 'I was hoping your walk up the beach might have led you to find something better.'

'Not that I was looking,' Jack said as his stomach made an obvious sound.

'I didn't have time to find anything to eat.' Ianto stomach joined in. 'The good thing is we have water. Without water we wouldn't have lasted three days. That will give us the time we need to find a better supply and some food otherwise we can only survive around three weeks, four if we are lucky, five to six if there's a miracle.'

'We won't be here three weeks. Tomorrow I will fix the dome. Then as far as I am concerned you don't exist.'

'I think our priority should be survival and on that note before it gets dark we have to speak about what happens when either of us have to go,' Ianto explained.

'Go where?'

'Go and do the business. Pee for the sea, bury the rest. I walked out ten paces and put a stick so we know where to do it.' Ianto pointed towards the stick.

'Oh it,' Jack said as he realised what they were talking about.

'Now food,' Ianto said.

'I'll have a double bacon burger, extra cheese, with fries and onion rings on the side with lashing of ketchup,' Jack said and watched Ianto roll his eyes.

'While I was trying to find water I saw lots of berries. If we can't find food we are going to be tempted. There is a formula for…'

'A formula for what?'

'Trying new foods, to check what we find is safe. It takes time. What I'm trying to say is…'

'Are you suggesting that I have no self-control,' Jack said insulted.

Ianto looked pained. 'Of course not.'

'Then what are you saying…'

'I'm just trying to..'

'Trying to what? Be more irritating than normal?'

'No it's just…'

'Spare me…' Jack said he lay down and turned his back on Ianto.

'Jack, I'm sorry.'

'Shove it,' Jack replied.

* * *

><p>Ianto woke stiff, sore, and covered in dew. He sat up and immediately began to lick it off<p>

'You said there was water,' Jack said shaking his head, not in the slightest bit impressed as he watched Ianto's antics.

'Come with me.' Ianto led the way, his body stiff and sore from sleeping on the ground.

Following the small trail of signs he had made the day before they reached the small hole Ianto had dug.

Jack saw a small hole that had been lined with rocks.

'It was filled to the brim with water, and some of the solids had settled out and it. If you're careful you can just sip the top layer off.' Ianto said.

Jack lay down and took a mouth full. The taste was okay to begin with but after a few seconds was replaced with a strong flavour of rotting vegetable matter, causing him to almost gag. Coughing he wiped his mouth and stood.

'Horrible I know but I figure if we follow the stream bed it might lead us to something better.'

'In what universe made you the boss of me and gave you the impression you could give me orders?' Jack said hands on hips.

'It's not an order, this is about survival. We need a better supply of water,' Ianto said.

'Not going to need it because by tonight we will be home.'

'Heading back to the dome beach is a good idea but water should be our first priority, only then…'

'Who gave you naming rights?' Jack interrupted petulantly.

'You name it then,' Ianto replied in frustration.

Jack started to head back.

'We need water. Working together…'

Jack spun round. 'Let me make one thing clear. I don't want to work with you. I don't want to see you, speak to you, understand? But needs must as the devil drives. We need to get home. To do that the dome needs to fixed or prepped. But instead of offering to help you want to play out some wilderness fantasy.'

'It's not a fantasy Jack I'm trying to ensure our survival.'

'We are not going to be here long enough to even consider that as an option.'

'And what if the dome doesn't work?' Ianto pointed out.

'Well thank you for your confidence and faith in my ability,' Jack snapped back.

'Jack, that's not what I'm saying.'

'Considering this is your fault I would have thought you would at least give me a hand.'

'My fault?' Ianto bristled.

'Yes. If you hadn't followed and distracted me then we wouldn't be in this mess.' Jack pointed at Ianto.

'My fault,' Ianto repeated.

'Yes your fault. I wouldn't be here at all if you hadn't set me up.'

'You need to listen! That is not what happened!'

'I've done listening to you. Nothing you say will ever have any impact on me ever again.'

'If you insist on working in this heat, make sure you don't get dehydrated. Make sure you come here every ½ hour,' Ianto told him.

'So now I can't work out if it's hot or not?'

'One of the first signs is headache.' Ianto ignored the comment

'And one last thing. You can stop showing off,' Jack said, irritated by Ianto's advice.

'What are you talking about?' Ianto looked confused.

'You heard. Stop showing off,' Jack repeated.

'Jack, do you realise how barking mad you sound?

'All this…the fire, the advice, the water hole, fuck you even lined it with stones.'

'That's to make it easier to drink,' Ianto explained. 'This is temporary at best. We won't last without a better supply of water. We need at least two litres a day each. It's a question of priorities.'

'So what you are saying is, Jones, I don't have a sense of what is needed to be done first.'

'You are twisting everything I say.'

'Really. Twisted. So I'm mad and twisted and don't know what is in my own best interests.'

'No, that is not what I saying,' Ianto said through gritted teeth.

'Oh, so then I'm not stupid; only stubborn,' Jack added. Ianto, realising this was a futile conversation, remained silent.

Seeing the conversation was at last over Jack turned and headed back to the beach.

* * *

><p>Reaching the beach, Jack saw the tide was well on its way out. He rubbed his forehead to ease the pain; this was not dehydration but hunger he told himself. This would all be over soon. Visions of bottles of clear liquid danced before his eyes followed by a large cake. By the time the tide turned he would have this up and running he assured himself. Then all they had to do was wait for the tide to turn again and swim out and they would be home.<p>

Wading in the water, he made his way towards the dome. Out of breath he clambered over the broken wall and splashed into the interior. It took a moment for his eyes to adjust from the bright outside.

The design was the same, in fact it was a duplicate. Snake-like cables. Arms forming a cage, and the three panels.

He blinked, feeling a rise of panic. Three panels…he counted again. One…two…and again; one…two…there were only two.

* * *

><p>Letting out a huge sigh Ianto checked the small hole. It had refilled with just enough water for one tiny sip.<p>

He hoped Jack was right. The best case scenario was that the dome was functional. It made perfect sense. It got them here it should get them back.

But when had his or Jack's luck been that good? The odds were the dome could receive but not send or had one last shot and getting them here was its final hurrah.

The reality was if it was functional the good news could wait. They had been here less than twenty-four hours and Ianto already felt sapped of energy. His head was pounding, hungry and he had not slept. Without a good water supply within another twenty-four hours after today they might able to function but it would be downhill from that point on. Fatigue, listlessness, muscle weakness and a whole lot of nasty would follow. A good supply of water might extend that to five days giving them the time to work on the dome. The small hole had filled by third and he took another sip.

Was it the thirst speaking or did this water taste a little better each time he took mouth full? A taste of rank rot hit the back of his throat and like Jack he almost gagged.

A bird song filled his ears. 'So where are you drinking?' Ianto asked the bird out loud and it stopped and looked at him.

A few seconds passed and the bird hopped away and Ianto with no other destination in mind followed.

An hour later Ianto stopped. The bird, having disappeared, Ianto was now following the rock formation to his right. It was a feature of the centre of the island, at least two hundred meters tall reaching to a ragged summit. The formation also made a clear divide. Wall of rock to the right, and to the left good soil with pockets of vegetation.

'All verdant growth couldn't be supported by just run off,' he argued with himself. 'Run off is always short term, that's why it's called run off.' He bent down and felt the soil. The top was dry but a hand span down it was moist. So unless this was a massive soak there had to be water. If not free running, a water table that could be dug into.

Pushing his way through long spiky strands of a particularly tough plant one sprang back and hit him across the calf. '_What __I__ wouldn't give for a good sharp machete__,__'_ he thought.

* * *

><p>Don't panic,' Jack said to himself. So there were only two panels. That didn't mean the one they needed was missing. He cleaned layers of marine growth from the two remaining panels as best he could then stood back to take a look at the results.<p>

'The one on the right with the lump could be his island,' he thought and checked his fingernails. To get a better idea he needed something to scrape away the more stubborn material. Looking around he couldn't see anything that might help.

He looked outside and saw the tide was well on its way in. He felt so thirsty he felt sick. Nothing for it but to go back take a drink from the well of revulsion then search the beach for some kind of tool. Hoisting himself thorough the broken section he jumped into the lagoon.

* * *

><p>Keeping the formation to his left Ianto forced himself forward. There had to be water here, he had seen several different species of bird and he had startled something that had bounded away. The only logically answer was there was free standing water.<p>

Now a distortion of the rock formation blocked his way forward. It formed a long rounded wall, no doubt this was volcanic by the rough look of it. An idea came to him; digging down at the juncture where a 'v' had formed he used his hands and digging stick he had made for himself. Half a meter down he hit water, but it was milky yellow and the smell would not induce him to drink no matter how thirsty he was. He had ripped off the bottom of his trousers earlier; now with some effort he ripped one of remnants into a strip. Leaning in he soaked it then wrapped it around his neck.

It felt so good to have any kind of cooling effect even if the odour was old sewage. He noted he was no longer sweating, which was not a good sign but expected. It meant his body was at the point of trying to conserve water.

Dipping the rag for a second time he secured it around his neck as best he could. Then he mapped out the hand and footholds on the wall in front of him then heaved himself up. It was hard work and he was breathless by the time he reached the top.

Taking a look around he tried to make sense of where he was. He could hear the hush of waves to the right but only just. To his left the rock face went straight up. Down before him was another pocket of vegetation. A lot of vegetation, denser than he had come across before and with at least four trees he counted so it was possible this next section had some open water.

With care he climbed down the other side of the rock wall mindful that the impossibility of this situation would become terminal if he hurt himself. Jack may be many things but he knew enough to know Jack had never found himself in a situation like this before. He would have had given survival training. Every space ship included emergency survival pods where everything needed to survive was provided. From tents, to medical kits, emergency rations and so on.

Being stranded with nothing but your bare hands and what you stood up with had never ever entered into the equation as far as Space Command was concerned. Deep Space Exploration was no different; in fact, the reverse. Ianto groaned when he thought of the amount of emergency equipment provided. In truth he would rather be where Jack was than have the knowledge he had been utilising here. It had come at such cost and taken fourteen months of his life to acquire and perfect.

The black rock radiated heat and gave him an idea. If nothing else maybe he could set up some kind of water trap. The rock was heating up during the day and would form moisture as it cooled. It might explain the wildlife, and Ianto began to think of ways they could collect it as he pushed his way thought the undergrowth beside the rock face.

Climbing down he went over his goal to give Jack back his chance. To do so meant keeping him alive long enough to get him home. He felt a surge of warm hope he hadn't felt in a long time. Maybe finally something good would come from that terrible time where he had lost everything. Jack would get back his life then he could find someone who deserved his courage and commitment. Nodding to himself Ianto moved forward.

* * *

><p>Reaching the beach, Jack made his way to the small drinking hole Ianto had made the day before. The hole was full again and Jack took a mouthful.<p>

He sat there trying to contain his impatience as the soak filled back up. Several sips later he felt mildly better. Mildly meaning he felt he could move a few feet away from this place without having to obsessively watch it fill, combined with a desperate need to take another drink. He began to look around to see if it was possible to make a cleaning tool. From what he could tell the trees were useless, mostly straight up for feet with no side branches. There were a few scraggly bushes equally lacking in any sizable twigs. His eyes began scanning the ground for a suitable candidate. A small stick with a sharp end perhaps, or a shell.

The only shells he had seen were on the beach. If there were empty shells then that indicated there were shellfish, like oysters or edible clams. Not that Jack was into seafood, not real seafood and the thought of eating something that was actually living made him feel revolted.

His stomach ached at the thought of food; on the other hand he was so hungry he could eat a dolphin on toast including the blow hole and not feel a qualm. He laughed at his own absurd thinking. They said civilisation was one meal away from chaos and there he was, already plotting the demise of actual living creatures. Jack took a final sip and headed back to dome beach.

* * *

><p>The heat of the day now bore down on Ianto as he followed the implacable cliff and he began to feel queasy. His headache was so bad now he was becoming light sensitive. Over the next rise and he would take a rest in the shade.<p>

Stumbling, he stubbed his toe and the pain brought him back to his senses. Pushing aside the thick undergrowth he crawled towards the deepest shade and lay on his back. The temperature in the shade felt several degrees cooler. As he laid there with his eyes closed he began to feel somewhat better.

It was so still there. No matter how hard he strained he could only hear natural sounds. Slight breeze hitting the tops of the canopy, birdsong in the distance, he could just hear the waves and… he listened again thinking his mind was playing tricks.

No it was real all right…a tiny trickle. Sitting, he stilled himself to gage which way the sound was coming then began to crawl through the undergrowth in fear he might miss the source.

Then he saw it. The rock face had caused a slight overhang creating a natural sun shade. The black volcanic rock he had been following was now above a layer of pinkish of rock. The water seemed like it was being squeezed out by the weight of the rock above and was trickling into a pool of water about half a meter long.

Ianto found himself face down in the pool taking in as much water as he could suck down. The water was sweet and as pure as he had ever tasted

Water ran down his face as he sat up and he wiped his face clean with his tee-shirt. All the fears he had been holding onto began to ease a little.

They had water and he knew what it meant, water = time. He took another drink and it tasted just as sweet.

It was a shame he had nothing to use as a container so he could get some back for Jack Hopefully he had taken Ianto's advice but considering Jack's mood he might have done the exact opposite.

Taking a final drink Ianto stood to try and see exactly where he was. Crashing forward a few meters later he found another rock wall blocking him. Climbing, he found his headache was easing. Then he saw it: an outcrop of rock that had created an island, connected by a strip of sand. If he was right he was near dome beach.

* * *

><p>His hands full of shells, Jack dumped those he had found in a heap. He wanted to size them so that he could make some tools. He picked up a really big one. It was flat with grooves and reminded him of a scallop shell. Ianto was heading along the beach and he refused to acknowledge his presence until he spoke.<p>

'I found some water.'

'Water as in another pond of disgusting brown rot water?' Jack said still examining his collection of shells.

'No, good water. Shouldn't have bothered if we're off home,' Ianto said and Jack looked at him with disgust. 'I'll take that as a no.'

'You said something about water,' Jack said now standing.

'It's round the headland.'

'Well what are you waiting for?' Jack snapped and they hadn't moved. 'Are you going to make me a map or something?'

'I'll take you there. It will be quicker with no chance of you getting lost,' Ianto said quietly indicating with his hand.

Jack's mind struggled to come up with something sarcastic to say but the disappointment of his progress with the dome and thirst kept him silent.

Ianto counted to two hundred and three paces and then looked on the ground for something. Jack saw it was a pile of rocks. Ianto then headed inland.

'It's on the right and is part of the rock face, if we don't see it we just need to go east.'

Jack was too thirsty to care about anything except following. He had never realised just how thirsty one could get after a single day of not drinking. Seeing the small pool he put aside all decorum and fell on his belly. Face down Jack took in as much water as he could swallow and kept swallowing.

'How do you know this is east?' Jack said as he fell back, sated. 'Do you have a compass on that laser fire starter of yours?'

'No, I made it up. Directions like north is a matter of consensus; sun comes up from the south, follows north, so east and west is right and left for ease of finding my way around.'

Jack made no comment.

'How was the dome?' Ianto asked a few moments later.

'One of panels is missing, the wall that has collapsed must have included it. There are two other panels but there is so much marine growth I can't make out any picture,' Jack admitted.

'I see,' Ianto said. 'That's what the shells are for.'

'You're not the only person who can improvise,' Jack said. 'And I'm going to call the beach shell beach'

'Fine,' Ianto replied.

'So we have water. What was those numbers again? Three something…' Jack asked after he had taken another drink

'Three days without water, three weeks without food. That said as each day passes without food we should expect a downward spiral causing us to expend less and less energy. I reckon without food we have five good days.'

'Not me, Jones. I've found food.'

Ianto opened his eyes wide from surprise.

'Shells equal food,' Jack told him.

'I was thinking more nuts, berries, and fruit.'

'Are you squeamish?' Jack couldn't help himself.

'I'd like to get out of this without having to kill something, Jack.'

'There is an ocean full of fish, fish can be eaten. If I'm not mistaken fish is a food,' Jack said standing.

'And do you have any idea how to catch a fish?' Ianto asked.

'Hunger is a great motivator,' Jack replied looking at the water and wondering if he should take a final drink.

'True, but that does not answer my question?'

Jack put his hands on his hips. 'And I suppose you can catch fish.'

'Of course. I'll just wade out and use my fish calling whistle and they will jump into my arms.' Ianto demonstrated as if he was whistling for a dog and held his arms out. 'Or if you can find me a running stream, with the right equipment I could make a fish trap.'

'Equipment, what sort of equipment?' Jack narrowed his eyes as Ianto mocked him.

'A good sharp knife that can hold an edge.'

'Right, let's head back and light a fire,' Jack said in his best commanding voice.

'No fire.'

'You can use your handy dandy fire laser with the added compass,' Jack pointed out.

'Not enough fuel. If we find something that needs cooking then we can light a fire.'

Jack stopped in front of Ianto with his hand out. 'Then give the lighter to me and I'll light a fire.'

'Have you ever lit a fire outdoors before?'

'There is plenty of logs; I've seen them,' Jack said.

'Do we have an axe to split them to the right size? No. So other than burning a whole tree, we need small bits kindling, dry leaves; something to get the fire started.'

'So why did you start one last night?' Jack pointed out.

'First I had to see if I could still do it and secondly I didn't realise how few resource there were until I checked today.'

'I order you to give it to me,' Jack held out his hand.

'In your dreams Jack,' Ianto snorted

'Just give me the lighter I'll look after it.'

''You can't I've hidden it,' Ianto said quickly.

'You've done what?' Jack said furious.

'To stop anyone being bloody stupid enough to use up what few resources we have on a whim.'

'And I'm that person.' Jack pointed his finger into Ianto's chest. 'If we are to survive we have to pool our resources.'

'Now you want to pool resources?' Ianto spat out.

'If something happens to you then I lose the ability to light a fire.'

'Trust me if something happens to me then that ability will be lost,' Ianto said.

'What is the lighter matched to your DNA so only you can use it?'

'Something like that.' Ianto glared at Jack.

'And so we understand each other, Jones, I wouldn't trust you if I was stuck on an island in the middle of some abandoned planet.'

'Unless you want to bed down here tonight then we had better start making our way back,' Ianto pointed out.

'Why we go all the way back?' Jack said still bristling at Ianto's refusal. 'I think we should head to the headland and bed down there.'

'You know that's first and only good suggestion you've made,' Ianto said in all seriousness.

'Fuck you Jones.' Jack spat out the expletives as he crashed his way through the bush then turned back and faced Ianto. 'Then fuck yourself some more then when you've fucked yourself, head for Fuck You land and start all over again' He spun round and headed towards the beach.


	8. Chapter 8

Eight

* * *

><p>Jack opened his eyes. The brief illusion that this was all a horrible dream and he was really back in his quarters on a soft bed with a massive lumber-man's breakfast mixed with a full English to follow.<p>

Reaching down he felt for whatever had been digging into his hip for hours. He pulled out a spec and glared at it. Why was it that this tiny bit of grit felt like the mountain range on Ficus Eight?

'Damn it!' Why did he have to think about that mountain range? Jones had been all over it.

Groaning, he sat up. He could swear he could hear and feel every joint creak.

Slowly he made his way through the undergrowth, when he felt near enough to the sea he unzipped himself and aimed towards the sounds of the waves.

As his bladder emptied the terrible empty feeling in his stomach made itself known.

Shaking himself he then zipped himself up and looked at his hands. Maybe he could clean them on Jones.

That would mean he would have to speak to him and or touch him. Jack shook his head. And that was never going to happen!

Food…there had to be something here to eat. Jack brushed past a bush. It was full of berries. Before he could stop himself he had a handful when the advice Jones had given him the day before echoed in his mind.

'Self-control…I'll show you self-control,' Jack said as his mouth filled with saliva. Maybe he could try just one. One couldn't hurt, just one.

'Jack,' he heard a voice from behind him. Taking a last look he regretfully threw them on the ground.

'I think we should talk.'

'And just what should we talk about?'

'We need to work together.'

'We've tried that.'

'When?'

'On the _Torchwood__,'_Jack spat out.

'We worked very well there,' Ianto said, confused.

'No, you fought me every step of the way, you disobeyed direct orders, I had to put up rank insubordination, then when it was all over you ran away…that's right, you ran away. Not even a single good-bye considering what we had gone through. You couldn't face me.'

Ianto remained silent not wanting to exacerbate the conversation.

'And in true form you have nothing to say.'

'We are both tired and hungry. Let's not make this any difficult than it already is.'

'How can things can any more difficult? I'm stuck – here - with – you!'

Ianto let out a sigh. 'I know you are angry…'

'Don't you dare tell me how I feel!'

'Will you just listen...?'

'My listening days are over where you are concerned. Now I'm going to get a drink then I'm going to back and work on the dome.' Jack walked away.

'Good idea, we should split off. I'll go and see if there is any food.'

'Good, now split off!' Jack said spitefully.

* * *

><p>Starting with the small island and a systematic search Ianto concluded except for small bushes of berries scattered about there was nothing edible. From his observation of the birds he picked one and took a tiny bite. Much to his disappointment it was 99% seed but he managed to get peel the flesh away. It was sweet; there was no burning sensation, or bitterness. He swallowed.<p>

* * *

><p>Jack worked away at the two panels. His hope, so strong in the morning, was gone by the afternoon. Of the two, one was a mountain scene, the other a waterfall. The round switch which made it possible to highlight a panel was locked into place. So even if the required panel was there the only destination possible was the waterfall.<p>

The good news was everything else appeared to be in place. The centre core and the arms ironically were clean, no doubt due to the events of their arrival. The bad news was the power panels were missing. On the island they had been down the side of the dome, here the dome was on part of the lagoon.

The reality, as hard as it was to take, was that they were going nowhere. Something fluttered against his leg.

Looking around he realised that the tide had come in and something was in here with him. It was swimming round his feet. A single eye popped up and he recognised the creature. He had seen several swimming about the lagoon. They were very odd looking; a single eye on a stalk, a black bloated oblong body with a frill around the outside which was the way it moved, and it was trapped.

Everything about the creature screamed repellent but Jack was so hungry he was prepared to give anything a try. He plunged his hands down and tried to get a good grip. It was slippery and as he raised his hands they were covered in black slime which must have been a defence mechanism.

'This is war,' Jack said as he took off his tee-shirt and used it to try and get a grip. The creature frantically tried to flutter towards the only exit. Jack threw himself on the creature and after a frantic struggle managed to pull it out of the water. He bashed it against the wall until it went limp.

Waiting for few moments to ensure it really was dead he wrapped in his tee-shirt, now oozing black slime, and headed for the exit.

Feeling triumphant he saw that Jones was sitting on the beach exactly opposite the dome.

'I found us something to eat.' Jack threw the creature down at his feet. 'Now give me the lighter.'

Ianto looked at the creature. He had never seen anything so unappetising in his life. However his own efforts had found only a few nuts and he couldn't deny that Jack had managed to catch something.

Ianto stood and led them back to where they he had lit the first fire and began to gather some twigs.

'You could help,' Ianto said.

'Oh no I caught the fish or whatever it is, your job now is to light the fire.'

A pile of sticks and fronds, along with some slightly bigger logs, Ianto moved a rock to one side and brought out an odd looking arrangement of sticks. Jack could swear one looked like a bow.

'This might take a while,' Ianto warned.

After a few moments Jack lost his patience. 'Ha ha, I get the joke, rubbing two sticks together, very funny.'

As he watched a light bulb came on in Jack's head along with the sinking feeling that this was no performance on Ianto's part. This was far too much hard work.

A few seconds later Jack saw a curl of smoke. Ianto blew frantically on it; there was nothing but smoke which erupted into flame. Placing the ball under a prepared pyramid of small twigs he kept adding bigger and bigger ones until the fire was ablaze.

'I tell you Ianto that money your father spent on that summer camp was well spent.'

'Drop it Jack,' Ianto said, in no mood for any kind of discussion.

'So where did you learn all these amazing skills then?'

'Jack, I don't want to talk about it.'

'Was it Deep Space Command, some sort of survival PHD course for exceptional students and you of course were chosen because they just knew how well you would do?'

'I'm asking you to leave it.'

'That is so you Jones.' Jack felt a surge of nastiness, ripping into Ianto felt like the perfect release for his rotten day.

'Everyone has things in their life they are not proud of,' Ianto said adding a small log to the fire.

'You! I doubt that very much. Jones…the most perfect human in existence. Mr Extraordinaire. ' Jack felt light-headed. He knew he should stop but he was enjoying seeing Jones look so unsettled, and it was giving him an inordinate amount of satisfaction.

'I am anything but perfect.'

'I disagree, put you down somewhere and you will find a way to come out on top.'

'That is not even close to the truth,' Ianto said.

'Let me guess.' Jack put his finger to his forehead. 'Before your family were a business success where they ended up with more money than god your founding family members came from this family of rugged mountain men and women. And like everything else they were brilliant at it. No doubt you happened to learn all this by your grandfather's knee.'

'I never knew my grandfather,' Ianto said softly.

'Whatever, the perfect family,' Jack said, sounding like a petulant child. 'I can see it now… your golden, diamond studded childhood: exotic resorts, skiing, top schools, tutors, space academy, more skiing, then space command. Mr perfect Ianto Jones who manages to be a genius no matter what the pressure, drop him down in the middle of nowhere and he can light fires, find water, next no doubt you will build a bivouac your bare teeth.'

Not being able to endure much more Ianto stood and went to move away. 'On the contrary I was an extreme disappointment.'

'Oh no, you don't get to run away this time. What…did you get an A minus in something?' Jack mocked, standing now to block Ianto's way. 'How did you cope with the sense of failure? How could you face your entire triple-A plus family?'

'I don't care what you think I am not going to share one of the worst times of my life with you,' Ianto tried to step past.

'Listen, Mr Too-Good-to-be-True, I want an answer.' Jack side-stepped in front of him again and poked his finger into the top of Ianto's chest.

'You think I had the perfect childhood surrounded by the perfect family. Where I was the golden boy who never put a foot wrong.' Ianto felt his control slipping. He was exhausted. His search had found nothing to eat, they were trapped and they were going to die. He would die and he would never see his dad again and would never know just how much he loved him. If the news didn't kill him first who knew what extreme measures he might take.

'Yeah, that's exactly what I think.' Jack curled up his lip. 'Ianto, admit it for once in your life. You are the son of a very wealthy man, who has been given every possible advantage you never had to struggle for anything your whole life '

'I did a terrible thing…' Ianto said, his face twisted in distress.

'What did you do? Steal a cake from the school kitchen? ' Jack mocked so certain of his advantage.

'No, Jack…I killed my mother,' Ianto pushed past.

Staggered by Ianto's admission, Jack slowly sunk to the ground, trying to fathom what had processed him to needle Ianto so mercilessly. As long moments passed he recognised he had been out of control since the argument on the squash court. If nothing else Ianto's revelation had brought him back to reality with as thunderous thump.

As he sat there staring into the flames Jack found himself in a calmer frame of mind. Adding a few logs to the fire he tried to keep it going considering the effort that had gone into making it. His comments and behaviour seemed to dance before him in increasingly sickening clarity.

Jack had accused Ianto of being a spoilt brat but the only person acting in that manner was himself. Ianto had found water, and made a fire and he hadn't even said thank you. Looking down the beach he saw Ianto had stopped and was standing looking towards the dome.

Pulling himself up and after a quick check of the fire he dusted himself off. The only way out of this unholy mess and was to make the first move.

'So now you know I'm not the perfect son. Never have been, never will. Is this enough?' Ianto looked directly at Jack. 'Is this what you wanted to hear, or do you want to hear the full lurid details.'

'No, of course not…Ianto I was angry and hurt. I'm tired, hungry and feeling desperate and I took it out on you. But right now I'm finding it hard to believe you could be capable doing such a thing,' Jack said as a warm gentle wave washed over their feet.

'You can add it all the other things you've made assumptions about me. I know I'm capable of terrible things. There are dead bodies on the _Torchwood_ that are testament to that fact.'

'That was different,' Jack pointed out.

'How?'

'That was self-defence.'

'It's all just semantics. So now you know. This should make it easy for you to make good on your promise and pretend I don't exist. You wouldn't be the first. After what happened my family couldn't stand the sight of me,' Ianto said softly. 'I was so _persona_ _non_ _grata_ I wasn't even allowed to attend the funeral. It was six years before my father could bear to have anything to do with me.'

'I don't think you should be on your own.'

'Jack, I've been on my own since I was thirteen years old.'

'You're not alone Ianto, there are people all around you that care.'

'If they only knew,' Ianto said to himself.

'I'm no paragon of virtue. We've all done things we regret …' Jack tried to say.

'Jack, I don't need you to try to make light of what happened or make excuses. I've had to live with this for years. I know the truth of what happened.'

'I'm not trying to Ianto. There has to be another side to all this. The man I know...'

Ianto interrupted. 'You don't know the real me. The Ianto you know is a fantasy you created from listening to my journals. That's what you were trying to tell me on the bridge right?'

Jack felt like his heart missed a beat…several in fact.

'That's why you gave up the _Torchwood_ and followed me all the way out here. That man never existed, he's just a shadow.'

'Interesting theory,' Jack recovered enough to speak.

'So you are going to deny it? Because it explains why you gave up something so important. You must have fallen hard for that shadow to follow it here.'

'So why did you work so hard to make this happen Ianto? Why would you agree to go anywhere with someone who had caused you so much pain? I made your life a living hell to the point you lost the will to live. Why did you even contemplate the possibility when I suggested it? Once you left the _Torchwood_ all you had too was ignore me, but instead you sent me messages, images and then made me a condition of you joining the expedition. Why?'

Ianto threw his head back and looked at the moons then his feet and then back toward the lagoon. 'Many reasons'

'Like?'

'All sorts of reasons,' Ianto said, sounding desperate.

'And they are?' Jack asked in frustration

Ianto looked at him. 'What if I don't know myself? What if I don't have an answer?'

'That is just avoidance. If you set me up just be honest about it.' Jack felt some of the anger that had driven him for three days return.

'I might be a bastard, Jack, but I'm not a complete bastard.'

'Ianto, I need answers because without them I'm left with you setting me up.'

'Yeah,' Ianto said sadly. 'It's not the truth. I know this is hard to accept but I would never have asked you or said anything had I known you had been offered Captaincy of the _Torchwood._ But I can see how you could come to think this was all a set up. You are free to believe the worst and you wouldn't be alone or the first.'

'Ianto, I don't know what to think. You won't or can't tell me another reason so without any other explanation I'm left with a very distasteful conclusion.'

'I am sorry all this happened,' Ianto said into the growing dark.

'I hear, I really do, but it's getting dark. Let's cook the fish thing and I'll fill you in with my progress with the dome.'

Feeding the fire Ianto waited till it burnt down then started to build a bed of ashes. Placing the fish on the ashes he turned it over in an effort to sear it as best he could. The smell of burning rubber didn't fill either of them with much confidence. Ianto heaped as much ashes as he could around the fish in an effort to cook it. A sizzling caught their attention and the creature split, leaking fluid.

'You caught it, you should have first try,' Ianto said.

Gingerly Jack tried to separate some of the grey flesh using one of the shells he had found.

'What was that formula?' Jack said as he managed to get a morsel.

'Take a tiny bite, if it tastes bitter or stings, or makes your mouth go numb spit it out. If not just swallow then wait to see if there is an adverse reaction.'

'Okay,' Jack said. Taking a taste he held it for a fraction of a second then spat it out on the ground. 'Bitter and my tongue then started to go numb. So that's that then,' Jack said pushing off the carcass.

'I found these,' Ianto held him a handful of nuts.

'Are you sure these are safe?' Jack asked picking on one up between thumb and forefinger gingerly.

'Yes, I recognised them from around home base. We've been snacking on them for weeks.'

Jack nodded as recalled he had eaten hundreds as he had enjoyed a beer. A few minutes later he looked up. 'Delicious. Lead me to the tree.'

'Sorry I stripped it of its poor harvest,' Ianto said, again standing and making his way back to the edge of the beach.

Jack watched as Ianto remained unmoving as the sun went down.

* * *

><p>Jack lay for the first time facing Ianto. The man was having a restless sleep; not surprising. Jack berated himself for the last three days. He had been so out of control, had forced Ianto to share something he suspected he would rather have chewed off his foot than talk about. But Jack had to push and push… Worse he thought Jack the bully dead but evidence to the contrary suggested he was alive and well and still causing problems.<p>

If nothing else the revelation had acted as a brake on his own horrible behaviour. He refused to believe it, maybe…

Ianto did nothing without serious consideration. At thirteen what he could have done that had caused his mother to die to such an extent he believed he had killed her. An accident perhaps… was that why Ianto had such difficulty in flying…it must have been more serious for his family to reject him. Jack turned over and looked at the sea. Both moons were coming up, causing some strange shadows.

What a pair. Was Ianto right? Had he fallen in love with a shadow? Something Ianto said came into his mind…'_What if I don't know myself.'_ Jack pondered Ianto's statement. As he thought about the statement he realised it was the most honest statement Ianto had made. What if Ianto had no idea because of some sort of deep seated conflicted motivation? He found himself back in the cargo bay of the _Torchwood where_ Ianto had kissed him. Not just any kiss; Jack doubted he had ever been kissed with such fiery, angry passion. What if…somehow Ianto had developed feelings for him but because of their past… Jack could see that being attracted to someone who had been the cause of losing five years of your life and turning your life upside down would cause a great deal of inner turmoil.

It might explain Ianto's friendly behaviour and his rejection. And Ianto had put a lot of effort into rejecting him. It was all speculation of course, he doubted Ianto would admit to anything, but if he was right…it meant...for a moment he refused to accept even the possibility that Ianto actually might have feelings for him…no matter what his own feelings might be he never thought that…sure he had hopes but… Ianto crashed past him towards the beach and began to throw up. Jack scrambled to his feet and raced to his side.

'But you didn't have any of the fish,' Jack pointed out and saw Ianto was all fours vomiting into the sand

'Berries,' Ianto croaked before the next wave of retching began.

'What berries?' Jack found himself asking.

Ianto rolled over as waves of nausea hit him. 'Berries. The first was okay. I felt queasy I thought it was because I was hungry so I tried a second, then a third.'

'Three berries did this?' Jack said astounded.

Clutching his belly Ianto now started to roll around in agony. Jack felt helpless. Ianto's forehead was burning hot. Okay, there was something he could do. Standing, he raced to the water, where he knelt and cupped his hand. Making his way back he put them across Ianto's forehead.

On his second return Jack heard Ianto croak. 'Jack, I need you to leave.'

'No, Ianto let me help.'

'Please I need to…go'

'I understand,' Jack said and quickly pulled back to the line of trees and tried not to listen. In an effort not to hear he looked over the lagoon. The water was aglow, with the light of the moons. He looked again; the lagoon was aglow alright but not from the light of the moons. He stood transfixed when he heard splashing and realised Ianto was trying to clean himself up.

Moving down the water's edge he tried to help the best he could.

'I'm so sorry,' Ianto tried to say as another bout of vomiting hit him.

'Don't be, Ianto. It might be painful right now but this has been a blessing in disguise,' Jack said.

'Sick bastard,' Ianto said thinking Jack was enjoying the spectacle.

'Seriously Ianto, you can't see it but I can.'

'Fucking mad,' Ianto said.

'Mad I might be but I can see our salvation.' Any further conversation ended as Ianto's digestive system exploded and he lost complete control.

* * *

><p>Jack eased Ianto's head on his lap as he watched the sun came up. The berries had finally left Ianto's system and he had fallen asleep as the two moons lowered towards the horizon.<p>

The next step was to get Ianto some water, not the vile pond scum but water from the spring. That would mean a tramp around the headland and it was going to be slow going. Hopefully the poison whatever it was had no lasting effects but even without it Jack was sure Ianto would be weak as a kitten.

Sitting there, the irony was not lost on Jack. A day ago he could not have imagined being here. His thinking last night had caused him to join the dots which led him to the conclusion that Ianto was hiding his real feelings for him and it went as far back as that kiss in the cargo bay.

Looking down on Ianto's sleeping face he felt a surge of protectiveness; not for the shadow in the journals but the real Jones. Jones…the impossible, maddening, stubborn, brave, wonderful, brilliant human being. The one here fast asleep making the inside of his thigh ache from the weight of his head. Jack loved a challenge. He would find a way to show him, prove his feelings were for the real Jones. Jack found himself smiling. The man was so infuriating...with more than just a hint of arrogance, Jack would just love to wipe the smirk of his face with exactly the same sort of kiss Ianto had bestowed on him, filled with passion, lust and a desperate longing for connection.

Ianto stirred and Jack helped him sit. 'How are you feeling?'

'Hideous, but I think I could handle some water,' Ianto replied.

'I agree,' Jack said and helped Ianto to stand. Ianto's knees gave out and Jack caught him.

'I don't think I can bear the pond water,' Ianto said with a raspy voice.

'The spring then,' Jack said and Ianto nodded.

'I don't think I can make it,' Ianto said honestly.

'All you need to do is put one foot in front of the other.'

'Two steps I can manage it's the third I'm worried about,' Ianto said as they began their slow way down the beach.

'It will be hard work but we will make it,' Jack said gently as he helped Ianto along.

'We are talking about the spring?' Ianto checked at the strange tone in Jack's voice.

'Of course,' Jack quickly recovered.

* * *

><p>Ianto cupped his hands and took a small drink. After last night he did not want to drink too much in case it caused him to start throwing up all over again.<p>

'I don't think I have every tasted anything so good,' Ianto said after his second drink.

'I never said thank you for finding this,' Jack said as Ianto now took another sip.

'It won't make a lot of difference if there is nothing edible on this island.'

To his surprise Jack smiled. 'Last night I found something.'

Ianto creased his brow and vaguely recalled Jack saying something.

'The missing power panels…I found them. Last night, I saw them; they are part of the lagoon in a circle around the dome.

'The first day…remember I stepped into a deep part of the lagoon; what I stepped off was the strip with a series of panels on them. If we clear off the marine growth maybe it will be enough to power the dome.'

'You said there was a location panel missing so we can't go home.'

'The panel indicator is jammed so we can only go to one place anyway. But we can get away from here. We won't need to find water; we know it already has water. All we need then is to find some food and the new dome might have the panel or even someone or being we can find to help and get us home.'

'I like your enthusiasm,' Ianto said and tried to stand.

'No, you will stay here for now.'

'I want to help.'

'You can by getting better because I need you,' Jack said in that strange tone he had used on the beach.

'Please, Jack.' Ianto looked pained.

Jack laughed at Ianto's reaction but it was so hard not to act on his new-found understanding. 'What I mean is you need to show me how to use the laser fire starter.'

Getting the joke Ianto smiled. 'On one condition.'

'Okay.' Jack prepared to do any task Ianto requested.

'No more horrible rubber one eyed fish suppers.'

'Agreed,' Jack said. "I felt terrible killing it anyway.'

'Sod the killing of it, it could have been food,' Ianto said.

'See, this is why I need you. Now rest up, keep drinking and I will be back later.' Jack flashed him a million watt then headed back to the beach.

* * *

><p>Taking a sip every few minutes, Ianto started to feel better. As much as the water was helping he knew it was the feeling of hope that was giving him a lift. This place as lovely, he could imagine coming here for a holiday, but right now it was a death trap. Trying to survive with their bare hands and zero local knowledge would have killed them…still might if the dome didn't work. Jack might have accused him of not having confidence in his ability but he did. If anyone could get the dome to work Jack would. And as for that smile his heart was still racing. The reality was no matter how hard he tried to ignore his own feelings he was on a slippery slope.<p>

A slippery slope he must not reach the end of because he knew the truth. Jack didn't love him; he loved the man in the journals. Jack's feelings were understandable. Out of guilt and those lost 600 seconds had brought fourth every protective instinct Jack had. Losing the sad and mad Costello meant there had been an inevitable gravitational pull towards the man Jack felt was not only deserving of help but of his friendship.

Ianto would never deny Jack his feelings but the man loved was a fantasy. Ianto understood that to because loving a fantasy was easy, you could mould that persona to whoever you needed them to be. He understood it fully because it happened whenever he imagined what his life with Craig would have been like; wonderful, full of lovemaking, companionship, sweetness and light. It took no account that in reality Craig had a fiery temper, could be moody and would never back down in an argument if he thought he was right. Ianto smiled in remembrance. The man could argue the legs of a donkey but in Craig Ianto knew for the first time in a long time he had met his match.

So the problem was the price of entry for Jack into his heart and life would be having to come to terms with the real Jones. Ianto was no fool. He knew he could never compete with the lover Jack had created in his mind.

He was too flawed, too damaged, too desperate, cursed with family who would never accept Jack as his partner. And that was a hard truth…he had hurt his family so badly no matter what his success now or in the future could he do that to them? He let out a sigh, so much of his life had been a walk down a narrow path, deviate and every one he cared for got hurt.

Yet leaning on Jack had felt so good, even if his voice sounded like everything he said had a double meaning. Truth was he was back on that dangerous slippery slope, hurtling into unknown territory.

Jack was not the only person who could dream, imagine what it would be like, to have someone hold him in their arms, love and tell him everything wold be okay, be totally on his side and love them back with equal measure…a sob caught in his throat and he buried his head into his hands, fighting the feelings he had been holding on to since he had told Jack about his horrible past. How could anyone love a person who had led his own mother to die? Ianto couldn't accept or forgive himself; why should he expect it of others…

He woke a few hours later to the sound of bird song. Having cried himself out he realised the tightness around his chest had eased slightly. Ianto didn't indulge in wallowing very often, in fact he could count on one hand the times he had. He knew why; he had no right to feel better.

He had no idea of the time but it felt like early afternoon because the sun was causing some strange shadows. He could swear the shadow just to the right was in the shape of a person. He blinked and looked again. It was not a shadow; it was a creeper of some kind. It was uncanny; there was body just on its side in a slumped sitting position, arms by its side. An example of natural topiary if ever he had seen one.

'_What were the odds of that__?'_ he thought. Being prone to the ground, something else caught his attention. It was an animal bone. It was just out of reach. Standing, he felt his entire body tremble but curiosity kept him moving forward. He managed six steps and picked up the bone. It had been there a long time because it was clean. Another step and his sore toe connected with something. Another bone…this one was half buried. Kneeling he cleared away the dirt around the round object with great care. Lifting up the skull he saw it was missing its jaw.

Not human by any means but very human-like. He placed the skull back to its resting place, his mind a whirl of thoughts. Was this a burial ground of some sort for the original inhabitants? Or a poor soul trapped here, a shipwreck perhaps who unlike Ianto had not found the spring in time. He thought of his and Jack's ordeal here. It was possible this being died a lonely desperate death and considering he had just disturbed their remains he felt compelled to say something.

'Rest in peace,' he said over the bones.

Moving back towards the spring he heard a rustle. He turned to check if it was not the large animal he had disturbed the day before coming to use the spring.

Nope, all clear. This time the rustle was more pronounced. He turned back and was startled as the body-shaped bush shook. The foliage twitched, jerked and the part that looked like an arm lifted as if trying to break free. It was a hand or hand-like.

Then the bush seemed to make a rusty kind of screech.


End file.
